Arrogance gets in the way
Arrogant behavior, in the most extreme and obvious form, sounds like:
“I know it all.”
“Everyone else is wrong.”
“I am better than everyone.”
(There’s no shortage of people in the spotlight who show us what arrogance looks like!)
But it can also takes more subtle forms, ones that might be more familiar to each of us, like:
“I don’t need anyone’s help.”
“It’s not okay to make mistakes.”
“This achievement proves I’m better than other people.”
“I know what’s right for someone else.”
When you have an unstable sense of self, you might end up feeling like you need to aggressively build yourself off, show off all of your wins, achieve external gratifications, and more — all to overcome internal feelings of inadequacy.
This arrogant behavior gets in the way of everything good in life — love, growth, service, meaning, and joy — because it disconnects you from your humanity.
No one can know everything. No one can be perfect. No one can do it alone. It would defy what it means to be human: ever-unknowing, ever-imperfect, ever-connected.
Let go of the arrogant belief that your humanity is escapable. When you do, you can find freedom and joy in the humility it engenders.
Truly humble people have a strong and stable sense of self-worth. They see themselves clearly: their strengths and their weaknesses, their gifts and their shortcomings, their opportunities to contribute and their challenges to overcome. This humility makes you open to learning, changing, and connecting. Studies have found that humble people are less defensive when they make mistakes, better at staying open to new information, and likelier to treat others with compassion.
Remember this: you don’t need to know it all, achieve it all, or be it all in order to be worthy of love from yourself and others.
In reality, this quest to see yourself as perfect, the best, and devoid of all flaws — it’s all just an attempt to experience love. But love isn't found there. It's found when we recognize our humanity, embrace ourselves as we are (warts and all!), and open up to what we have to learn from one another.
