Community: Hard times
Each week, we gather our community’s wisdom. This week, we asked:
When you were going through a hard time, what did people do that helped? What do you wish people had done?
“Give space, validate, and honor that what I was going through was indeed hard or complex and it makes sense to feel the way I was feeling. Hold no judgement if I was at times distant or less responsive.”
“Listening empathetically without judgment and without the need to provide advice. That sort of coming alongside has always made me feel seen and loved during tough moments.”
“Listened and accepted me for who I was at the time, rather than trying to “fix it” for me.”
“Validated my feelings and sat with me in silence.”
“Just their presence (and a bonus long hug.)”
“I wish they’d checked in more and offered to help.”
“I wish someone had said, ‘you need to take a step back and take some time off.’”
“They gave me their time, without conditions, judgment, and resentment. It was the best gift.”
“They checked in. They brought food and trinkets to help me cope.”
“Just sat with me and let me brain dump. Not so helpful is trying to fix it when I’m not ready.”
“Just being there for me, not just physically but emotionally, listening and showing they care.”
“I wish they’d checked in more. They waited for me to open up to them instead. ASK ME!”
“Did my errands for me.”
“Been present, lent an ear, listened and sympathized.”
“Currently going through this. Wish they’d reach out more to check in on me.”
“They were kind and reassuring.”
“Dropped off food. Did my laundry without hearing no, I’m okay. Took my kids for a bit.”
“They were here. Listened. And hugged. It meant a lot.”
“Called me to ask how I was feeling. Not assuming I wouldn’t want to talk about it.”
“I wish they had been more supportive and not pushed me so hard.”
“They listened to me when I asked them to.”
“Sent me a simple text, saying they’re thinking of me.”
“Being validated when I’m having a hard time means the world.”
“Told me my feelings are valid.”
“I wish they had told me they were praying DURING the tough time, not after.”
“Brought food. Lifesaver!”
“I am going through this right now. I wish I could receive familial affection.”
“Not trying to fix or give advice. Just being there.”
“I wish they had sat with me, walked beside me.”
“Kept my perspective in the right place even when I couldn’t see it clearly.”
“Just be with me. Even in silence.”
“I wish they had just sit with me, listened to me, validated my feelings, and had let me know everyone goes through hard things and it will all be okay.”
“A friend texted: I know you are struggling right now. But I am thinking of you and I am here.”
“I wished they knew it was okay just to listen, rather than offer a solution.”
“Held me.”
“I wish people had asked how I was doing. Nothing else, just acknowledge the struggle.”
“Wish they checked in more than just the initial time.”
“Being kind to me meant so much. Knowing I wasn’t alone was so powerful.”
“My sister called every day.”
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