Don’t doubt yourself
When John Steinbeck was writing The Grapes of Wrath, he kept a daily diary, planning to use it to track his progress. But that diary soon turned into a place where he grappled with the critical inner voice in his head, trying to overcome his own self-doubt so he could bring forth the piece of art that lived within him.
As the months passed, and as he slowly crafted what would become a legendary, Pulitzer-prize winning book, his diary documented this daily battle:
"I’m not a writer. I’ve been fooling myself and other people. I wish I were."
"If only I could do this book properly it would be one of the really fine books and a truly American book. But I am assailed with my own ignorance and inability.
"For no one else knows my lack of ability the way I do. I am pushing against it all the time."
"This book has become a misery to me because of my inadequacy."
Steinbeck had set himself a task to write the greatest book he could. In order to achieve that, he had to persistently work to overcome his fears: of not being good enough, of failure, of never finishing, of being an imposter.
When we look at Steinbeck from the outside, we assume that he, of course, must feel confident in himself and believe that he is good enough. His diary shows otherwise.
Every single one of us, those heralded as ‘geniuses’ included, struggles with self-doubt. Our goal should not be to try to eradicate it — for if it’s impossible for Steinbeck, it’s likely impossible for us. Instead, our goal should be to approach our self-doubt in a different way.
The mistake that we make is believing that we have to overcome our self-doubt about our ability to achieve the entire future end-goal (write that book, get that job, and so on.) But we don’t. We just need to overcome our self-doubt about the task that’s in front of us. Can I bring myself to do this thing (write ten pages, apply for five jobs, run a mile) today?
Let's say that your long-term goal is to be an artist. Imagining this future version of you, you find yourself overcome with self-doubt: what if you’re not talented enough? What if you’re not successful? What if you can’t financially provide for yourself? What if you can’t stay true to your artistic vision? This is a recipe for complete terror and panic that, far too often, results in you never taking any action at all that works towards your end-goal.
Instead, bring your attention to the task that's in front of you: going to the store to buy art supplies. Can you overcome your self-doubt about this activity? That’s all you need to do today.
This is a radical mindset shift, one that Steinbeck used to great effect in his diary. You overcome your self-doubt one day at a time: by identifying the task in front of you, acknowledging your doubts about your ability, and proving to yourself that you can do it by tackling it anyways.
You don't need to fully believe in your future self. You just need to believe in your present self and what they're capable of doing today. The beauty is that these actions add up. Your present self's string of todays is what ends up creating your future self, the one who is capable of achieving that end-goal.
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