Finding the balance
A healthy relationship requires a healthy balance: of giving and receiving, of listening and speaking, of giving feedback and taking it, of helping and being helped.
To discern your balance, you can’t look to a single day. You have to zoom out and look at it from a broader perspective. Some days, you’ll be offering more; some days, you’ll be needing more. Some days are challenging; others are joyful. The best relationships are those that are able to ride these waves — the ups and downs of living — in a way that honors both people as individuals and the relationship as a whole.
Here are a few questions you can ask yourself (or, with your partner, friend, or family member, discuss together):
What external stressors or challenges am I or are we facing, and how are they impacting me?
What does the balance in our relationship look like right now?
Where might that balance need to be adjusted?
What do I need more of in this relationship, and how might I communicate that?
What would I like to contribute more of, or less of, and how might I do that?
What do I need to give myself in order to be able to contribute to the relationship in the way that I want to?
These questions are powerful because they encourage us to shift from our unconscious relationship patterns into a wiser, more loving way of connecting; they help us to craft a balance that works — not just for you, not just for them, but for both people.
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