Community: How to help your friend with their mental health
In our community check in this week, you shared many suggestions for helping your loved ones who are dealing with depression. We’ve compiled and categorized them here.
Community members who have experienced struggles with their mental health shared what helped or what didn’t.
I wish they would have talked to me and asked what was going on.
Ask how I was feeling, listen, hug me.
Took me on a walk without trying to solve it.
They told me why they love me.
Gave me a little trinket as a gift.
Make sure I got out of the house for some fresh air.
To just check in on me, not judging me or offering tons of advice.
Check in every day or just showing up and sitting with me.
Doing the dishes for me.
Many people didn’t know how to handle it and distanced themselves from me. I wish they had checked in.
Do not give me advice like, “You should just go to the gym.”
Helped me find mental health care and encouraged me to go to therapy.
Prepared meals for me when I was not able to cook or shop.
A loved one’s mere presence helped a lot.
Continuing to check in, even when I didn’t feel like talking. Knowing they cared helped.
Let me know that they were there for me and understood that I was doing my best.
Don’t want activities or solutions, but acknowledgment of my pain and assurance of love.
Helping with their daily tasks and life is a great way to show your love.
Take it easy on them. Give them some extra care, help them with the ‘simple’ tasks.
Bring some home cooked food so they don’t have to think about cooking.
Help out with chores, ask them to go for walks.
Do the dishes.
Help with laundry.
Run errands for them.
Connect them with the right support.
Very lovingly convinced them to go to therapy, which did wonders.
Be willing to have difficult conversations about their mental health if you need to. Ask them directly how they’re doing.
Find and call a therapist together.
Spend time together.
Invite them to go for a walk and get some sunshine.
Spend time together doing low-energy activities.
Encourage them to come out with friends; even if they say no, ask again next time, because one day it might be just what they need even if they don’t feel like it.
Bring them their favorite coffee or take out meal.
Spend time together quietly if they want company but don’t have much energy to do stuff.
Check in, regularly.
Check in on them every day, but not in a way that needs a big response (ie. send a meme!)
Send them a message you’re thinking of them. Give a hug. Listen.
Text something like, “Hey, no need to reply, but I’m thinking of you and I’m here if you want to talk.”
Keep reaching out. If they don’t answer, message them that you’re thinking of them but there’s no pressure to respond.
A “No need to respond but I’m thinking of you” or “This reminded me of you” text.
Send them messages telling them you care about them and you’re around whenever they want to talk.
Most of all, just give them your love.
Just be there for them without being pushy. Just sitting next to them can make a big difference.
Just be there. Even silently.
Just spending time with me.
Just listening, without giving suggestions of what to do or what not to do.
Hugging them and saying it’s okay. Let them know you’re really there for them.
With lots of love, tolerance and kindness, even if they don’t understand how you’re feeling.
Listening without judgments.
Just reassure them you are there for them and that it does get better.
Ask how they want help instead of immediately problem solving or minimizing.
Asking, “What can I do or you?” and really meaning it by asking it twice.
Hugs, long walks on the beach, acknowledged my feelings, regular calls or texts to check in.
Listening.
Let them know you know it’s not a choice or even rational. Validate. Hold space.
Distraction. Random “I love you” texts. Care packages (Dollar Tree!)
Try your best to be there for them by listening and spending time together.
Honestly, just be there. They might not want to talk, but they likely don’t want to be alone.
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