How to grieve
To grieve a person, animal, relationship, period of time, life experience, state of being, or any other loss — it's one of the hardest challenges that we will have to go through.
For those who are grieving, here are three questions you can consider:
1. How can I still love what I've lost?
In a viral interview with Stephen Colbert, the actor Andrew Garfield talked about the loss of his mother and how his grief is his 'unexpressed love,' and why that makes it so precious to him.
What is one way you could express your love? It could be speaking directly to them (out loud, in your head, in a letter, through art, in behaviors...) or sharing your love for them with others.
2. What would make me feel connected to them?
Even if they are no longer here, you can sustain and nurture a relationship with them. For example:
Are there specific activities you used to do with this person?
What mementos or photos could you keep around?
On special days, how might you remember and celebrate them?
Connection takes so many forms. Find the ones that work for you.
3. How might I build a life that honors them?
Something immediate may come to mind: a value that they embodied, a cause that they cared about, or a project they longed to finish.
If not, please be gentle with yourself. This is a big question, one that might take years to fully consider and create. If it feels overwhelming or you're not sure about the answer, shrink your time horizon: what would it look like to honor them today?
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