Make it joyful
If you browse any corner of the motivational internet, you'll probably see one message repeated over and over again: You need to be consistent to achieve your goals. But this is not, actually, the key to achieving your goals.
If you want to achieve your goals, make them joyful. Make them fun. Make them interesting. Make them fascinating. Make them engaging. Make them meaningful. If you do this, you will never have to worry about 'being consistent' ever again.
To understand why this is the case, let's dig into the research. You've probably heard of extrinsic and intrinsic motivation, which are terms that come from a 40-year-old body of research, led by Edward Deci & Richard Ryan.
Their research discovered that there's a continuum of motivation. At one end is extrinsic motivation ("I'm doing this because I'll be rewarded/punished.") At the other is intrinsic motivation ("I'm doing this because it's joyful and interesting.")
Intrinsic goals are more aligned with your authentic self and fulfill your human needs. Deci & Ryan's work has found that if you pursue intrinsic goals, you'll 1) experience greater happiness and well-being, and 2) be more likely to achieve them, because people who choose goals aligned with their interests, values, and identities are more persistent and therefore, more likely to be successful. On the other hand, people who are extrinsically motivated are more likely to abandon their goals and experience ill-being.
Consistency is best understood as a downstream metric that indicates how aligned the goal is to your authentic self, which in turn drives your happiness and success. Your current behavior — consistent or not — is a piece of data that you can use, not a target to aim at.
If you find it easy to be consistent with your goal, you're probably more intrinsically motivated. You find it enjoyable, it puts you into a state of flow, or you see it as way to express yourself or contribute to a greater purpose.
On the other hand, if you're struggling to be consistent with your goal, you're probably more extrinsically motivated. That is a sign that your goal is not aligned to your authentic self and is not fulfilling your needs. If that's the case, here's one small tool you can use to shift it. Ask yourself, how can I make pursuing this goal a more joyful experience?
Or, go further: what would it look like to throw this goal out and choose a new, joyful one instead?
The Definitive Guide to Happiness
A groundbreaking new approach based on a decade’s worth of research and brought to life with beautiful artwork, New Happy shows you the proven path to happiness.
