How to be a good communicator
Want to be a better communicator? Here's a simple perspective shift that can help: think about how hard it can be for you to put words to your feelings, thoughts, and requests.
Taking what’s inside and getting it out in an authentic, truthful way is tough.
We’re so familiar with how it feels to us — but often forget that our conversation partner is simultaneously experiencing the same struggles. This recognition can power our empathy and compassion, paving the way for a better connection where both individuals can express what matters most.
Here are a few ways to practice.
Be present. The more you’re paying attention to what they’re saying, the more likely it will be that you can extend empathy.
Ask questions. When they say something, dig in:
“Can you tell me a bit more about that?”
“How did you feel when that happened?”
Check in on your understanding. One of the greatest barriers to good communication is making assumptions. To avoid this, use phrases like:
“It sounds like you’re saying you want [x], is that right?”
“What I’m hearing from you is you’re feeling [x], is that true?”
“To make sure I understand, here’s what I think you’re asking me to do, did I get it or did I miss anything?”
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