How to create more peace in your life
We are human, therefore we cling. That clinging leads to suffering.
This truth was articulated by the Buddha thousands of years ago. More recently, neuroscientists and psychologists have studied these topics and come to similar conclusions.
This is called attachment. It’s the desire to control what is happening to you, around you, and within you.
Anytime we’re clinging to control, it’s really an invitation to let go. When we accept that invitation, we’re rewarded with a greater sense of peace.
This is the opposite of attachment – non-attachment. It is the choice to let go of these cravings and clingings (as well as recognizing the chimerical notion that this type of control is actually possible.)
Those scientists I mentioned earlier? Here’s a bit of what they discovered.
Non-attachment is associated with:
An increase in greater satisfaction in life, well-being, empathy, positive emotions and generosity
A reduction in negative emotions, depression, anxiety and stress
It even appears that part of the reason why meditation can be so powerful is that it helps us to practice non-attachment.
The best time to start letting go is right here and now, the next time you notice you’re clinging.
Here’s a tool I created to help myself. I call it the Four C’s. Give it a try — I hope you find it helpful, too.
Control — Identify and name your craving. A useful question: “What am I trying to control in this moment?”
Compassion — Acknowledge any pain you’re in. Say to yourself, “It’s okay that I want this.”
Choose — Ask yourself, “What would serve me more: to hold onto this craving or to let go of this craving?”
Courage — If the answer is ‘to let go,’ take one brave step towards releasing it.
This courage can take many forms. Maybe it’s an affirmation: “I release this.” It could be an intention: “I will be brave and let go.” It might be an action: doing something to help you release it, like doing a workout or writing in a journal or talking to a friend. Or it could even be an inaction: accepting what is happening in the moment without fighting it.
Get our free daily newsletter
Start your day with a piece of art and a science-backed tip.
It’s the only email that makes you happier.
