How to give (and spot) good advice
We all give and receive advice constantly, and it's one of the best everyday ways that we can help one another.
Giving good advice, though, is not always easy. The next time you're giving advice, stop and make sure you can answer these questions:
What does this person want?
How do they want to get there?
If you don't know the answers, seek understanding before giving advice. (Even if you think you know the answers, it's always good to confirm first!)
Some good questions to ask include:
What would 'a win' look like for you?
If you could wave a magic wand and get exactly what you wanted, what would it be?
Knowing what we know about the realities of situation, what do you hope for?
Putting aside what other people or the world wants from you, what do you want?
What would it look like if you pursued this goal in an enjoyable way?
What makes this pursuit meaningful for you?
What stories are getting in the way of you doing this the way you want to?
Are there any values you'd like to embody as you pursue this goal?
You can use this same framework when you're on the receiving end of advice. Evaluate it through this lens:
Does this person understand what I really want?
Does this person consider how I want to pursue it?
If the answer is no, a simple thank you and topic switch is all you need: "Thanks for the great perspective! Now, I'd love to hear more about your weekend."
