Open your mind
We humans are really bad at changing our minds:
We jump to quick conclusions
We ignore facts in favor of emotions
We latch on to certain ideas as a part of our identity, lashing out when they are challenged
With conscious awareness and effort, though, we can overcome these tendencies. Here's a process I've developed that can help. Use it with your own strongly-held opinions and see how it helps you to open your mind.
State your opinion
As clearly and concisely as you can, articulate your opinion.
Let's say you're struggling with a colleague at work. Your opinion might be, "They're a bad team member."
Tap into your true self
Now, take a few breaths, and as you do, connect to your true self: the part of you that is loving, wise, and curious. This is you at your very best. If you struggle to do this, think about someone who embodies these qualities to you and picture them sitting next to you. By doing this, you'll be able to access your greatest perspective
Ask, "How did I form this opinion?"
Think back to early interactions with this person. When did you form this opinion? Was there a specific event that triggered it? Did you make it yourself or take it from another person's opinion?
Consider how your original opinion might be wrong. For example, what conclusions did you jump to when you formed it? What might you have missed in that moment? How did your own state of being, needs, personality, biases, and goals impact it?
Challenge your opinion
Start by inverting your opinion to be the opposite; in this case, it would be, "They're a good team member." Thinking through your ongoing interactions with this person, consider: is there any evidence for this inverted opinion? When have they been helpful, considerate, or supportive? It's all too easy to ignore these moments because they don't fit into our predefined narrative.
When you get to the end of this exercise, you might discover that your opinion has shifted. Perhaps you realize that your original judgment was flawed or that you ignored moments of goodness in this person. On the other hand, you might get to the end of this exercise and discover that your opinion remains the same, in which case you can feel more confident in it moving forward. Either way, congratulations: you've just interrogated your opinion, one of the hardest things a human can do!
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