How to truly connect
The single most important factor for happiness is our relationships with other people.
And, yet, I think we can also all acknowledge that our relationships frequently get put on the backburner, deprioritized in favor of goals and responsibilities and deadlines.
In your next interaction, you can show up in a different way; in a way that helps you to deeply and truly connect, with these six steps:
1. Pause. Really, truly look at the person in front of you. Whether they are a stranger or as familiar to you as your own self, look as though you're seeing them for the first time. It's a person, a beautifully unique one, who is, in so many ways, just like you.
2. Notice any judgmental thoughts running through your head. What assumptions are you making? What stories are you telling about them? They will get in the way of true connection. Put them aside, even if it is just for the length of this conversation.
3. Imagine an empty space between the two of you. You have created this space for the other person, to fill up with their thoughts and feelings. Welcome them into the space with a question.
4. As they share, engage your curiosity. What if this was the only chance you ever had to speak with this person? Ask more questions. Invite them to continue to fill up the space, so that you can get the clearest understanding of their experience.
5. With this new understanding, imagine what it is like to be them. Let yourself feel how it would be to walk in their shoes. As you do, you might notice: I am no longer separate from this person. I am connected to them by our shared humanity.
6. Wish them relief from any pain. Wish them happiness in every form. If you can, take action to make those wishes a reality. This is love.
The Definitive Guide to Happiness
A groundbreaking new approach based on a decade’s worth of research and brought to life with beautiful artwork, New Happy shows you the proven path to happiness.
