Newsletter: A civil answer
This week, I want to share a delightful passage from Astrid Lindgren's Pippi Longstocking, which I came across by way of an interview between her and journalist Jonathan Cotts.
I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
———
"The children came to a perfume shop. In the show window was a large jar of freckle salve, and beside the jar was a sign, which read: DO YOU SUFFER FROM FRECKLES?
‘What does the sign say?’ asked Pippi. She couldn’t read very well because she didn’t want to go to school as other children did.
It says, ‘Do you suffer from freckles?’ said Annika.
‘Does it indeed?’ said Pippi thoughtfully. ‘Well, a civil question deserves a civil answer. Let’s go in.’
She opened the door and entered the shop, closely followed by Tommy and Annika. An elderly lady stood back of the counter. Pippi went right up to her. ‘No!’ she said decidedly.
‘What is it you want?’ asked the lady.
‘No,’ said Pippi once more.
‘I don’t understand what you mean,’ said the lady.
‘No, I don’t suffer from freckles,’ said Pippi.
Then the lady understood, but she took one look at Pippi and burst out, ‘But, my dear child, your whole face is covered with freckles!’
‘I know that,’ said Pippi, ‘but I don’t suffer from them. I love them. Good morning.’
She turned to leave, but when she got to the door she looked back and cried, ‘But if you should happen to get in any salve that gives people more freckles, then you can send me seven or eight jars.'"
I hope that the next time you're tempted to be mean to yourself about yourself, you will remember Pippi's example, and give yourself a more civil answer. Because the civil answer is the most loving answer.
Loving your (version of) freckles,
Stephanie Harrison, founder of The New Happy
This Week
You've heard me say it many times: our relationships are the single most important factor for our well-being. Now, we have some new data to integrate.
Try This
A recent Harvard study found that it's also important to have variety in our relationships.
In a study of over 50,000 people, interacting with a more varied range of people (like family members, kids, coworkers, strangers, acquaintances, neighbors, etc.) leads to greater well-being, even more important than how much you interact or the quality of those interactions.
This week, challenge yourself to go beyond your normal circle and reach out to one person every day who you normally wouldn't. Whether it's striking up a conversation at your local coffee shop, or calling an old friend, or setting up time with a coworker you haven't connected with, increase the diversity of your social interactions. You'll probably be happier for it!
More Tips and Tools
1. Three ways to shift your perspective (Podcast)
2. The power of momentum (Instagram, TikTok)
3. Thoughts in your head (Instagram)
4. Make someone glow (Instagram)
5. Celebrate your changes (Instagram)
Community
What's something you love about yourself?
"I genuinely commit when I do something."
"My good humor!"
"No matter what happens, I never give up, I always find a way out."
"I care about people."
"My ability to grow."
"How quickly I can learn stuff."
"My self-awareness, hands down."
"My ability to listen to others."
"My recent practice of ignoring the voice of disapproval in my head and expressing my creativity in spite of it."
"My sense of humor and sensitive heart."
Read more
Reading your civil answers made me smile today. If you're ever struggling with finding something, try to see yourself through a friend's eyes: what would they say they love about you? Once you have an answer, look for the evidence of it in action. You are so wonderful, and don't you ever forget it.
Inspiration
1. The 'comedy wildlife photos of the year' (My Modern Met) — I never knew I needed to see these goofy snaps.
2. California bakers made a Han Solo out of bread (NPR) — And they call him Pan Solo. Genius.
3. The best apple recipes (Eater) — Make something delicious with all those fall apples.
Before You Go
Thank you for reading
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