Weekly: A happy life
As humans, one of our greatest thinking errors is the belief that how it is right now is how it is going to be forever.
In my opinion, a big reason for this thinking error is that change doesn’t happen the way we expect it to. We picture change as an epic before-and-after moment: the phone call with life-changing news, the person who stumbles across your path and changes it forever, setting out on a grand adventure.
Real change is more subtle than that. It often seems like nothing is happening, until suddenly you look around, and your whole world has changed without you noticing it. You realize: “Wow, I’m happy now,” or “Look how far I’ve come,” or “Isn’t it remarkable that I responded in that new way?”
Remember that change is coming, even if you can’t see it yet. Have faith in the world’s ever-changing nature, and remember that even the hardest moments do not last forever. Have faith in yourself: you’re working hard, doing your best, and contributing to the world. Good things are coming for you. I can feel it!
With love,
Stephanie Harrison, founder of The New Happy
This Week
Old Happy: “I’ll be happy when I get there.”
New Happy: “I am creating a happy life each and every day.”
It's so easy to imagine a good life as a destination: somewhere we arrive when we have finally eliminated our problems and struggles. Then, we think, I’ll experience perpetual joy. But there is no life where that is possible.
A meaningful, happy life will inevitably involve difficult experiences and emotions. You can’t work towards a cause that you care about without feeling stress; you can’t craft a fulfilling relationship without tending to your wounds; you can’t grow as a person without experiencing fear. It will always be an experience of wins and challenges; joys and pains; meetings and farewells; transfigurations and disintegrations. All of our experiences contribute to the mosaic that is a happy life.
Here are a few small ways to put this idea into practice.
Write down what a good life means to you. The clearer the picture in your mind, the easier it will be to make decisions that align with it.
Meet your difficult emotions and experiences with compassion. Remind yourself: it’s an inevitable part of being a human; it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.
Every day, ask yourself: what’s one way I could experience a bit of joy today? Often, it’s the small moments that really matter most: a delicious meal, an evening walk, or a connection with a loved one.
Tips and Tools
1. How to be confident — This week's animation.
2. True positivity — Check in with yourself.
3. Break the cycle — Use the three C’s.
4. The power of a perspective — Open your mind.
5. Give yourself some love — Pause and love yourself.
More from TNH
Book — Preorder New Happy today and discover the real secrets of happiness.
Podcast — Get a daily morning pep talk — in five minutes or less
Speaking — Book us to speak to your team about well-being, resilience, and productivity.
Articles — Read more articles on our website.
Community
What is something you’d like to experience in your life?
“Travel around the world with my kids.”
“Reap the rewards of a business that I started. I want to look back one day and think “wow, I can’t believe I made this.”
“Peace and ease.”
“I want to experience the freedom and joy of writing children’s books, my dream accomplishment, without scrutinizing myself.”
“I would love to visit all 50 US states So much beauty in our country. 36 seen and 14 to go!”
"To be debt free!”
“To live a simple life in a simple house on the Mediterranean.”
Inspiration
1. What teenage girls taught me about friendship (Time) — “I wish for everyone the joy that teenage girls feel from simply having a friend by their side while eating, laughing, doing their hair and makeup, texting, doing homework, partying, crying, socializing, choosing an outfit, traveling, posting on social media, watching a movie, snacking, venting, sleeping, being silly, and so much more.”
2. The moment that medical students find out their tuition will be free (Guardian) — Dr. Ruth Gottesman is this week’s New Happy Hero.
3. Don’t toss out old stuffed animals (Washington Post) — I love what Charlotte Liebling has done in creating a “soft-toy adoption agency.”
Before You Go
No spam, just joy.
