Weekly: All acceptable
Old Happy: "There are bad emotions I must avoid."
New Happy: "All emotions are acceptable."
It was the fall of 2020. A few months earlier, I had started The New Happy's Instagram page. One day, I made a post talking about how to cope with your negative emotions. And on it, a lovely member of our community left a comment that I will never forget. They said, "No emotions are negative!"
When I was in grad school, I had been taught to distinguish between positive and negative emotions — researchers differentiate them based on what's known as their 'valence.' While that is useful in the scientific literature, that community member taught me that it's not so useful when we talk about emotions in real life.
Because they were right: there are no 'positive' and 'negative' emotions, in the way that we typically use these words.
All emotions have a purpose. You wouldn't be able to survive and live a good life without every single one of them. For example:
Your fear keeps you safe.
Your loneliness encourages you to reconnect with others.
Your jealousy shows you what you want.
Your sadness helps you to process your difficult experiences.
The next time you feel the urge to label an emotion in this binary way (like positive/negative or good/bad), remind yourself: every one of your emotions matters, because every one of your emotions has something to share with you.
Tips and Tools
1. How to feel your feelings — This week's animation.
2. Face your fear — Avoiding it won't help.
3. Enough as you are — Perfection stymies growth.
4. Finding balance — A sign of a healthy relationship.
5. You don't have to rush it — Healing takes time.
More from TNH
Book — Order New Happy today to find true happiness.
Podcast — Get a daily morning pep talk — in five minutes or less
Speaking — Book us to speak to your team about well-being, resilience, and productivity.
Articles — Read more articles on our website.
Community
What’s something that people assume about you or your life?
"That I'm so lucky and have it so easy. But I live with an incurable invisible illness."
"That I have always been the person I am today, the good and the bad."
"That I'm extremely intelligent and get good grades all the time."
"Some people read negative intent into my words."
"That I'm a boring homebody, although I've travelled to 44 countries and live abroad for 1.5 years."
"People think I've got it all together."
Before You Go
The Definitive Guide to Happiness
A groundbreaking new approach based on a decade’s worth of research and brought to life with beautiful artwork, New Happy shows you the proven path to happiness.
No spam, just joy.
