Weekly: Another view
I believe that we all have two jobs in life:
1. Learning to understand, accept, and love ourselves.
2. Learning to understand, accept, and love others.
I hope today's newsletter helps you with both.
With love,
Stephanie Harrison, founder of The New Happy
This Week
Old Happy: “You have to figure it all out on your own.
New Happy: “We have to figure it all out together.”
No one sees the world the way that you do. It's one of your gifts. You have unique wisdom, unique ideas, and a unique understanding of the world.
At the same time, any one individual perspective is inevitably and perpetually limited. There is so much we cannot see, know, and understand; these individual limitations — accumulated over time into ideas, ideologies and institutions — can lead to to division, violence, and suffering.
To prevent this, we need to recognize that other people's perspectives are a gift, too, providing us with information that is, quite simply, impossible to see on our own. Bringing diverse perspectives together is what builds a compassionate, just, happy world.
Many people instinctively view other people's worldviews as a threat to their own — but we can learn how to overcome this.
The next time that someone shares a different perspective with you, try saying these words to yourself: "This is a chance for me to learn more about how someone else sees the world." The reason that this intention works so well is that it grounds you in curiosity rather than judgment.
If we really want to love ourselves, and if we really want to love others, then we will stay curious about how we all see the world, and come together to blend it into a beautiful, layered perspective that includes all of us.
More Tips and Tools
1. How are you, really? — This week's animation.
2. In balance — Healthy relationships look like this.
3. You make hope — How to feel more hopeful.
4. Does it free you? — Changing your beliefs.
5. It's worth trying — Show up and see how it goes.
Or listen to the podcast episodes (Apple, Spotify) from this week!
Community
What's something you’ve changed your mind about recently?
"I used to believe that my Filipino immigrant dad was only proud of me when I did well in school, or at work. This made me not as proud of my creative gifts, which tend to be less performative. Through years of therapy & prayer, sitting with my feelings, and a pivotal grief ceremony, I started to see my father in a new lens: the man who raised me on Shel Silverstein poetry. Who got his hands dirty building class-winning creative experiments with me. Who taught me to ask bigger questions, and bemused at my sharp wit; my fanciful imagination. During COVID, afraid of losing him, I finally told him that I needed him to TELL me that he’s proud. He now tells me nearly every week, so sweetly — not because of how well I’m doing. But just because, I’m his. I’m learning that the stories we tell ourselves, OF those around us — and even of ourselves — might not be the whole truth. And boy, am I glad that my belief was wrong."
"I used to believe that the only way to achieve my goals was to do it alone. But I have since found that collaboration with other like minded people, not only shortens the learning curve but also, create things greater than what I ever imagined in the beginning."
"That everything was black or white; right or wrong. But life doesn’t work in absolutes and what might be one thing today could change tomorrow."
"That cynicism and edginess were personality traits. There's always unprocessed pain underneath."
Inspiration
1. The Winner of Fat Bear Week (Guardian) — A big round of applause for 128 Grazer.
2. When the world is full of noise (New Yorker) — You can slow down and listen for the birdsong.
3. The importance of looking at who (and what) you don't see (NYT) — I love how artist Wendy McNaughton encourages us to really see other people.
Before You Go
No spam, just joy.
