Weekly: At the start
Old Happy: I can’t figure it out—there’s something wrong with me.
New Happy: I can’t figure it out—but I know I will.
A rule of life: it's always going to feel messy at the start.
And this rule is not domain specific. It applies across the board: in learning a new skill, in creating something, in taking on a new role, in becoming a new version of yourself. These messy parts, as painful as they are, must be experienced; they are the on-ramp to the experiences of fulfillment, joy, and contentment that we are looking for.
Yet our tendency is to personalize this moment as something that’s wrong with us. But every great creator has navigated this same challenge. A few of my favorite famous examples:
J.R.R. Tolkien didn't even have the eponymous ring in his first drafts of Lord of The Rings; it took multiple revisions to land on this idea.
Ed Catmull, president of Pixar, says that, "Early on, all of our movies suck."
Ernest Hemingway wrote the ending of A Farewell To Arms 39 different times before he was satisfied.
You can’t skip the messy part, because that’s where the magic happens. It’s the process of engaging with the mess that allows us to transform it. Through our attention and our effort, we turn it into something beautiful.
The next time you find yourself feeling adrift in the mess, pause and reach for compassion instead. Remind yourself, "This is how everyone feels when they're facing the mess; I am not alone. This feeling doesn't mean I'm not talented, capable, or resourceful. It just means I'm a human, going through the messy parts first."
Tips and Tools
1. You were there — This week's animation.
2. You can lead the way — Waiting to feel motivated backfires.
3. How to accept your feelings — The secret to growth.
4. Ask the right questions — Help people share.
More from TNH
Book — Order New Happy today to find true happiness.
Podcast — Get a daily morning pep talk — in five minutes or less
Speaking — Book us to speak to your team about well-being, resilience, and productivity.
Articles — Read more articles on our website.
Community
What’s a lesson you’ve learned recently?
“I need to be enough for myself.”
“Don’t ask permission from others to be happy.”
“Healing isn’t linear, it has its ups and downs. Eventually things slowly get better.”
“To remember to pause and laugh.”
“Everything will pass, the good, the bad and the ugly.”
Before You Go
The Definitive Guide to Happiness
A groundbreaking new approach based on a decade’s worth of research and brought to life with beautiful artwork, New Happy shows you the proven path to happiness.
No spam, just joy.
