Weekly: Beliefs that free you
Old Happy: "I am stuck with the beliefs I have.”
New Happy: "I can choose new beliefs that serve me and others.”
Your beliefs have a tremendously important job: they are there to help you understand every single thing that ever happens to you, to other people, and to the world.
Each day, you need to make so many decisions: not only what you’re going to say and do, but also how to interpret everything everyone else says and does. Your brain consumes 20% of your body’s energy; even so, there’s no way that it can make all of these decisions in a thoughtful, conscious way. It needs shortcuts, and that’s what beliefs provide: a faster way to make decisions, understand situations, and problem-solve.
Given this all-too-critical role, it’s important to take a moment, every so often, and ask ourselves: are my beliefs constraining me, or are they freeing me?
Constraining beliefs might sound like:
I’ll never be able to achieve my dreams.
Things just don’t work out for me.
The world is a dangerous place, where you can’t trust anyone.
I don’t have any control over my life.
Freeing beliefs might sound like:
I’m capable of doing what I put my mind to.
Things always work out, even if they don’t unfold in the way I imagine they will.
The world is full of good people who are working to make it better.
I can shape my life in the ways that matter to me.
If you discover that your beliefs are constraining you, here’s the good news: you can change them with these three steps.
Choose just one constraining belief; for example, “I’m not lovable.”
Then, identify a freeing version of that belief; for example, “I’m surrounded by love.”
Look for evidence that this belief is true; that could be messages you get from friends, loving time spent with family members, and moments of kindness that you witness in person or online. Note them down, ideally in a place where you can refer back to them in the future. With time, this new belief will become easier to reach for, and then, instinctive.
And the even better news: when you do this exercise, it has the power to shift multiple constraining beliefs. Recent neuroscience research has found that like-beliefs tend to cluster together. If you have one constraining belief, you probably have multiple ones, for they reinforce and build upon one another. That means that once you start to change just one of your beliefs, you’re also starting to shift the other ones, too, without even trying. Bit by bit, one belief at a time, you will set yourself free.
Tips and Tools
1. What am I worrying about? — This week's animation.
2. Living with presence — Come off Old Happy autopilot.
3. No need to compare — Suffering isn't for that.
4. The secret to being brave — Four steps.
5. When life doesn't go as you'd hoped — Grief & hope, at the same time.
More from TNH
Book — Order New Happy today to find true happiness.
Podcast — Get a daily morning pep talk — in five minutes or less
Speaking — Book us to speak to your team about well-being, resilience, and productivity.
Articles — Read more articles on our website.
Community
What are your sources of joy?
"Learning ballet as an adult!"
"Music."
"My movement practices, my newly found morning routine and the ability to hold two things at once (joy/fear, grief/love, etc)"
"Being able to spend some mornings on my couch, in my apartment, petting my cat."
"Singing in the car with my daughter."
"Teaching and coaching."
Before You Go
The Definitive Guide to Happiness
A groundbreaking new approach based on a decade’s worth of research and brought to life with beautiful artwork, New Happy shows you the proven path to happiness.
No spam, just joy.
