Weekly: Express yourself
Old Happy: I need to keep my feelings to myself.
New Happy: I need to share my feelings with others.
When you’re sad, do you force yourself not to cry?
When you’re hurt, do you minimize your pain, telling yourself or others that it’s ‘no big deal’?
When you’re lonely, do you hide it behind a smile?
If the answer is 'yes,' you might be engaging in what researchers call emotional suppression, which is the act of hiding your true inner state from others.
Many of us came by these instincts by way of our childhoods, growing up in households where emotional expression was not encouraged or even tolerated. Now, as adults, we find ourselves habitually hiding our feelings, forcing ourselves to appear to feel positive, optimistic, and happy.
Unfortunately, repressing our emotions can have a major, harmful effect on our physical and psychological health. For example, studies have found that suppression can even negatively affect your immune system, increasing your risk of everything from the common cold to cancer.
If you're a suppressor, this week, I’d like to invite you to try something different: being an expressor.
Don't keep your feelings in; let them out. There are so many different science-backed ways to do that, most effective of all being talking to a trusted friend. But if that feels like too much, you can take a different approach: creating something like a piece of art, speaking out loud to yourself, or writing in a journal. When the feelings stay within you, they so often get stuck and fester, becoming more and more difficult to unknot, and resulting in greater pain. But when your feelings are invited out, they can be witnessed, they can be understood, and they can then be used to help you move towards greater happiness.
Tips and Tools
1. You were there — This week's animation.
2. Start right now — Waiting to feel motivated backfires.
3. What support does — The secret to growth.
4. Ask the right questions — Help people share.
5. Beneath the surface — Change is coming.
More from TNH
Book — Order New Happy today to find true happiness.
Podcast — Get a daily morning pep talk — in five minutes or less
Speaking — Book us to speak to your team about well-being, resilience, and productivity.
Articles — Read more articles on our website.
Community
What's painful or hard for you right now?
"Starting over from scratch in my career."
"Divorce."
"Doing my thesis."
"Dealing with partner of 9 years suddenly leaving. I didn't see it coming."
"Feeling inadequate in a relationship."
"A miscarriage."
"Putting myself out there."
Before You Go
The Definitive Guide to Happiness
A groundbreaking new approach based on a decade’s worth of research and brought to life with beautiful artwork, New Happy shows you the proven path to happiness.
No spam, just joy.
