Weekly: Is it good?
This week, I want to share a delightful passage from Astrid Lindgren's Pippi Longstocking, which I came across by way of an interview between her and journalist Jonathan Cotts. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did:
"The children came to a perfume shop. In the show window was a large jar of freckle salve, and beside the jar was a sign, which read: DO YOU SUFFER FROM FRECKLES?
‘What does the sign say?’ asked Pippi. She couldn’t read very well because she didn’t want to go to school as other children did.
It says, ‘Do you suffer from freckles?’ said Annika.
‘Does it indeed?’ said Pippi thoughtfully. ‘Well, a civil question deserves a civil answer. Let’s go in.’
She opened the door and entered the shop, closely followed by Tommy and Annika. An elderly lady stood back of the counter. Pippi went right up to her. ‘No!’ she said decidedly.
‘What is it you want?’ asked the lady.
‘No,’ said Pippi once more.
‘I don’t understand what you mean,’ said the lady.
‘No, I don’t suffer from freckles,’ said Pippi.
Then the lady understood, but she took one look at Pippi and burst out, ‘But, my dear child, your whole face is covered with freckles!’
‘I know that,’ said Pippi, ‘but I don’t suffer from them. I love them. Good morning.’
She turned to leave, but when she got to the door she looked back and cried, ‘But if you should happen to get in any salve that gives people more freckles, then you can send me seven or eight jars.'"
Pippi wasn't willing to accept that lady's idea of what was 'good' and what was 'bad.' Because of that, she refused to judge herself for it. Even further, she knew that what made her unique should actually be celebrated, encouraged, cultivated. I hope that, the next time you feel tempted to judge yourself according to someone else's ideas, you remember this story and remember: you can choose to love yourself instead, exactly as you are.
With love,
Stephanie Harrison, founder of The New Happy
This Week
Old Happy: "I should do what others think is good."
New Happy: “I can choose what is good for me."
Our society defines a 'good' relationship as the relationship that lasts the longest, even if both parties are unhappy and unfulfilled in it. With a bit of distance from our conditioning, we can see that this is both illogical and harmful. First of all, there's no law that says a 'good' relationship has to last forever. Second, how can anything be good when it's creating pain for everyone involved?
Here's my definition, based upon the science of happy relationships: A good relationship is, at its core, something that helps those involved to grow, find joy, and become better people.
Sometimes, these relationships last for a long time. Sometimes, these relationships are briefer. Either way, they're good ones. We don't have to judge the duration of a relationship; we can celebrate each one for their uniqueness.
Does this resonate with you? If not, how would you define a good relationship for yourself? Finally, what can you learn from using that lens to look at the relationships in your life?
Tips and Tools
1. Worthy always — This week's animation.
2. Fully experience it — Don’t get through it, live it.
3. You make it great — Great things take time.
4. No matter what — Be next to them.
5. From reaction to response — Take these two steps.
More from TNH
Book — Preorder New Happy today and discover the real secrets of happiness.
Podcast — Get a daily morning pep talk — in five minutes or less
Speaking — Book us to speak to your team about well-being, resilience, and productivity.
Articles — Read more articles on our website.
Community
What does a good life mean to you?
"Feeling safe, useful and happy most of the time."
"Getting to make a difference to someone or something."
"Meaningful work, supportive relationships, joy."
"Being okay with your choices, no matter the outcome."
"Meaningful conversations and noticing the flowers."
Inspiration
1. The world's first chat between a human and a humpback whale (BBC) — This is so cool!
2. The joys and challenges of caring for Terrance the octopus (Washington Post) — And her hatchlings.
3. He spent 20 years trying to buy back his Grandma's mustang (WashingtonPost) — You are One of One.
Before You Go
No spam, just joy.
