Weekly: Keep transforming

The poet Rainer Maria Rilke once wrote, “Perhaps everything terrible is, in its deepest being, something that needs our love.”

Whenever I catch myself beating myself up and telling myself that I’m terrible, I remind myself of his words. I say to myself, "These words in my head are a sign that I need my own love."

From there, I can choose to offer it to myself and know that, with each loving word, I’m building a happier life. You can, too.

With love,
Stephanie Harrison, founder of The New Happy

This Week

Old Happy: I have to stay the way I am.
New Happy: I can grow, evolve, and change.

Some people might judge you for changing. They might say that they don't understand you anymore, or that they don't know what happened to you, or that they want you to go back to the way it was.

Know this: you deserve people in your life who love you as you change and grow.

Because your growth is something to celebrate. The ways in which you have changed are a testament to how much you’ve learned. Your transformations show that you’ve navigated the challenging process of letting go, redefining yourself, and living as that self. Your new perspectives demonstrate that you were open to moving closer to the truth, even if it was uncomfortable.

The next time that you feel any sort of judgment from those who want you to stay in one place, say to yourself: "I can keep transforming. In fact, that's exactly what I'm supposed to do."

Tips and Tools

1. Thoughts in your head — This week's animation.

2. Mistakes help you — They lead to growth.

3. Embrace the bumps — They’re not your fault.

4. You deserve to be happy — You do.

5. Does it color your day — What to do with a setback.

More from TNH

Book — Preorder New Happy today and discover the real secrets of happiness.

Podcast — Get a daily morning pep talk — in five minutes or less

Speaking — Book us to speak to your team about well-being, resilience, and productivity.

Articles — Read more articles on our website.

Community

What do you want to accept about yourself?

"My graying hair."

"That I am myself, with all my dualities and flaws."

"The fact that I have to live further without my other half."

"That I have slowed down. As someone who worked multiple jobs in her early twenties, it's been difficult to manage that many projects now. And I keep thinking I'm not working hard enough because if I have done it once, I can probably do it again. But maybe I don't have it in me anymore, I'm a tired 30 year old and that should be OK too?"

"I want to accept that I won't always get it right on the first try, so I need to learn how to drop that expectation of perfection and just go for it."

Read more