Let yourself feel
Old Happy: I can't face my feelings.
New Happy: I can accept my feelings.
Many of us grew up learning one of two responses to our feelings:
1. You learned to hide or suppress your difficult emotions, forcing yourself to feel (or appear to feel) positive, optimistic and happy.
2. Or, you learned to intellectualize your feelings, using your brains to avoid experiencing them.
But there is another way: we can accept our emotions and allow ourselves to fully experience them. This is a choice that can transform our well-being.
First, recognize that there are no good or bad emotions—they all have a purpose, and they all have a message for us, and they all matter.
Then, allow yourself to fully experience them. If the idea of doing so intimidates you, start small: the next time you're a bit disappointed, or a little frustrated, or a tiny bit annoyed, try not to suppress the emotion or rationalize it away. Say to yourself, "I am experiencing this feeling right now. That's okay." As you do, you might want to treat your body with gentleness, taking deep breaths or giving yourself a little hug. Try your best to stay with the emotion until it passes.
Finally, you can look at that emotion for the information contained within it. Is there something you need to do, say, or ask for? What is the most compassionate response you can find within you, to yourself and to the situation?
Tips and Tools
1. Many feelings — This week's animation.
2. How you see yourself — Rewire that Old Happy understanding.
3. Life is always changing — Hold on.
4. Open your mind — Changing your opinion is a win.
5. What's your legacy? — Hint: it's not your achievements.
More from TNH
Book — Order New Happy today to find true happiness.
Podcast — Get a daily morning pep talk — in five minutes or less
Speaking — Book us to speak to your team about well-being, resilience, and productivity.
Articles — Read more articles on our website.
Community
What is a pattern in your life you'd like to change?
"Using my phone before bedtime! It doesn't make me feel as good as reading a book but the dopamine hits are real."
"I’d like to show up for others more."
"Going to bed late. I want to create a more sustainable and healthier sleep ritual."
"Comparing myself to others."
"Negative self talk and doubt. I am realizing that I am enough, no matter my accomplishments or fears."
"Putting myself down."
“Procrastination.”
Before You Go
The Definitive Guide to Happiness
A groundbreaking new approach based on a decade’s worth of research and brought to life with beautiful artwork, New Happy shows you the proven path to happiness.
No spam, just joy.
