Weekly: No more judgment
This week, I want to share one of my favorite quotes from Ram Dass with you:
“When you go out into the woods, and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever. And you look at the tree and you allow it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree.
The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying ‘You are too this, or I’m too this.’ That judgment mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are.”
With love,
Stephanie Harrison, founder of The New Happy
This Week
Old Happy: "I'm the only one who is struggling."
New Happy: "We are all just trying to find our way."
Every week, I run a check-in on Instagram with the members of our community. You share what you're feeling and what you’re going through: 'I am struggling to let go,' 'I am heartbroken,' 'I feel lonely,' or 'I'm lost.' And when I reshare your stories, without fail, I get many messages that all say the same thing: "I read this, and now I don't feel so alone anymore."
It's so easy to forget, and so important to remember: you only have visibility into your insides and everyone else’s outsides. You don’t see everyone else’s ups and downs, witness their challenges and struggles, or experience their fear and uncertainty.
This visibility trap can leave you with the mistaken perception that you are the only one who is having a hard time. Everyone else seems fine on the outside, but let me tell you what I see from my unique vantage point: we're all going through something — navigating our difficulties, coping with fear and confusion and pain and loneliness, and trying our best to figure life out day-by-day.
The next time you feel yourself caught in the visibility trap, use this phrase: "I may not be able to see it, but I am sure that I'm not alone."
It's a little gesture of compassion for yourself and others—one that can make all the difference.
Tips and Tools
1. What you deserve — This week's animation.
2. It's not about your pace — It's about moving.
3. You're underestimating yourself — Expand your perspective.
4. Love takes many forms — Redefine love.
5. Mastery takes time — Stop expecting perfection.
More from TNH
Book — Preorder New Happy today and discover the real secrets of happiness.
Podcast — Get a daily morning pep talk — in five minutes or less
Speaking — Book us to speak to your team about well-being, resilience, and productivity.
Articles — Read more articles on our website.
Community
What are you judging yourself for?
"Not being loyal enough to the people in my life. Standing by people when it’s convenient for me, benefits me and my goals as well. This includes family, friends, people I do business with, coworkers."
"I'm judging myself for being unemployed even though being layed off was completely out of my control and I'm doing my best to find another job."
"Making one small mistake at work, triggering my anxiety."
"Not having a close group of friends. Even though I’ve realized that I outgrew a lot of them… Something about not having that tight knit group makes me wonder what’s wrong with me."
"I am judging myself for gaining back all the weight that took so much time and effort to lose. Then judging myself for judging myself so harshly. The cycle seems to never end."
Inspiration
1. Who kissed first? (NYT) — A question I never thought to ask, with a fascinating answer.
2. 50 places to eat & drink before you die (Atlas Obscura) — Human beings are delightful: did you know that, in Texas, you could get homemade pecan pie from a vending machine?
3. The book train (NYPL) — You will be absolutely delighted to see how the book transportation system of the New York Public Library. (Here's an old article explaining how it works!)
Before You Go
No spam, just joy.
