Weekly: What you believe
We talk, all the time, about how easy it is to feel hopeless about the state of the world. But what we don’t talk about is how easy it can be to restore someone else’s faith in humanity.
With one kind action, with one compassionate gesture, with one encouraging comment, you can remind someone that they are not alone, that there are good people out there, and there is a hopeful future waiting for them.
What would it looked like if we lived our lives with this in mind, viewing that as our most important work—to renew their belief in the goodness of humanity, in whatever way we can?
With love,
Stephanie Harrison, founder of The New Happy
This Week
Old Happy: "They are lying to please me."
New Happy: “They are telling the truth to help me."
You believe the negative words they speak. So why don't you believe the positive ones? When you think about it, it's completely irrational behavior: you either trust them or you don't, and if you do trust them, then why would you question their kindnesses?
Deep down, you might not believe that you actually deserve their kind words. If that's the case, here's a perspective shift I'd like you to consider trying on: sometimes, other people can see you more clearly than you can see yourself.
Prove this to yourself by thinking about one of your own friends or loved ones who does not see their own strengths. They fret about their appearance—but all you see is their beauty. They dismiss their contributions—but all you see is their impact. You try so hard to get through to them ("You're wonderful, you're gorgeous, you're doing so well!") and yet they never seem to really hear you.
Could the same be true for you? Perhaps those people offering you compliments are trying to help you see yourself. Perhaps you just need to trust them. Perhaps you need to let their words in so that you can start to feel, deep down, that you are deserving of their kindness. Because that is the truth—you are.
Tips and Tools
1. Feelings come & go — This week's animation.
2. A balanced relationship — It looks different every day.
3. How to connect — Take these six steps.
4. It adds up — Start with a loving thought.
5. Just be there — Use the LOVE method.
More from TNH
Book — Preorder New Happy today and discover the real secrets of happiness.
Podcast — Get a daily morning pep talk — in five minutes or less
Speaking — Book us to speak to your team about well-being, resilience, and productivity.
Articles — Read more articles on our website.
Community
What’s your favorite compliment you’ve received?
“Someone knowing when I’m nearby before seeing me because they can hear me laughing."
“That I look pretty the way I am, and that my presence gives them immense joy.”
“That I’m good at making people feel heard and that I have an immaculate sense of style”
“My favorite compliment I've ever received was in the form of a comment on my mom's Facebook post celebrating my birthday. One of her friends said: "One of my favorite things about Julia is the sound of her laugh. It is like a rippling stream."
“That I’m someone’s lucky charm.”
“Thank you for being you.”
“You make me feel safe.”
“You inspired me to do this thing and I’m so happy.”
Inspiration
1. They Married, Divorced and Then Married Their Ex-Spouses Again (NYT, via Kottke) — I loved these stories. Life is always an adventure, isn’t it?
2. The US drops from the top 20 happiest countries (ABC) — The World Happiness Report was released this week, and we are struggling with our well-being. This is Old Happy’s fault—you’ll learn all about how the American pursuit of happiness is hurting Americans in my book!
3. The Great American Novels (The Atlantic) — The ‘most important novels of the last 100 years.’ What do you think of the list? I have… so many to read.
Before You Go
No spam, just joy.
