Weekly: Worthy right now

Old Happy: “I need to be perfect to be worthy of love." New Happy: “All of me is worthy of love."

When I say you, I mean all of you. Every single part of you.

There are some parts of yourself that you might find easier to accept and love. They are probably the parts that meet a specific standard that your family, community or society set for you; we have all been told stories that dictate what is required to be worthy.

Then, there are other parts of you that you feel that you have to change, deny, overextend, or suppress. They’re the parts of you that feel hurt, ignored, lost, ashamed, confused, overwhelmed, angry, and scared. And they, too, are worthy — and they are yearning to receive love from you.

Here is one way to do that, which takes just a minute or two.

First, think about a difficult experience you’ve had lately. This could be a conflict with a loved one, a moment of difficult emotions, or a persistent challenge. Now, imagine that you can connect with the part of you that was struggling in that moment.

Can you extend love to that part of you? Take a minute to consider what that might look like.

It could be spoken words like “I forgive you,” or “I’m here for you,” or “That was a really hard moment.”
It might be a felt sense of acceptance and understanding, offering the gentle recognition that you’re human, too.
You could write that part of you a note.
You could use your body, focusing on your breath or giving yourself a hug.

And if you're not sure what to do, think of how you would comfort a loved one and the same scenario. For think of it this way: this part of you is a loved one of yours; it's just one you have become disconnected from. Just like with any other relationship with any other loved one, it can be renewed with repeated action over time. Start today, knowing that you are creating a new, more loving relationship with all of you.

Tips and Tools

1. Day by day — This week's animation.

2. How to respond — Build a new reaction.

3. Start small — How to make change last.

4. What you will feel — All are welcome.

5. How to face your fears — Your anxiety is lying to you.

More from TNH

Book — Order New Happy today to find true happiness.

Podcast — Get a daily morning pep talk — in five minutes or less

Speaking — Book us to speak to your team about well-being, resilience, and productivity.

Articles — Read more articles on our website.

Community

What do you want to accept about yourself?

"My graying hair."

"That I am myself, with all my dualities and flaws."

"I want to accept that I won't always get it right on the first try, so I need to learn how to drop that expectation of perfection and just go for it."

“My anxiety.”

"My struggles to stay on track with my goals."

Read more