Weekly: Your best is enough
Old Happy: I have to do it all perfectly.
New Happy: I just need to try my best.
Everyone reading this email has way too much to do every day. You have responsibilities that matter to you, you have to-do lists that never get finished, you have errands that must be run and chores to complete, needs to satisfy and hopes to seek out.
To cope with this overwhelm, we try to cut back wherever we can. We eliminate things from our lives. We try to be more efficient with less. We prioritize and streamline and promise to say “No!” more frequently.
And yet this doesn’t seem to work: we still feel too overwhelmed, too busy, too committed.
That’s because we’re not addressing an equally-important part of this challenge. We need to also shift our expectations about how we do everything that we need and want to do.
Pause and get honest with yourself. What are you expecting of yourself? If you can admit, “I’m expecting perfection in every area of my life and in everything that I do,” you’re halfway to freedom.
These expectations kick off an absolutely vicious Old Happy cycle:
You expect perfection.
When you (of course!) can’t be perfect, you beat yourself up.
You resolve to try even harder to succeed at this impossible quest.
That effort requires that you work harder and for longer.
That makes you feel more stressed and overwhelmed.
Those feelings make it far less likely that you’ll be able to succeed at your tasks (let alone at the superhuman level you're demanding.)
The struggle to perform then leads to more feelings of shame and more expressions of self-criticism…
And on and on it goes.
Here's the good news: you can release these inhumane expectations for yourself and, instead, accept that you are a human being, who is absolutely wonderful and has very real limitations, including the inability to do everything absolutely perfectly. Embracing your humanity looks like:
Leaving the dishes unwashed in the sink so you can play outside with your kids.
Not responding to emails as soon as you get them.
Taking a ten minute walk when you don’t have time to do a full workout.
It doesn't mean that you don’t care about doing well or giving yourself fully to your life. It just means that you stop striving for perfection everywhere and start looking to try your best instead. Your best will look different from day to day and from task to task. And that’s okay. More than that, it's completely normal. Even more than that, it's good. It shows your humanity.
Tips and Tools
1. What you deserve — This week's animation.
2. You are always evolving — Change is always happening.
3. How to accept your feelings — The power.
4. Asking for what you need — Let people help you.
5. Invisible growth — Things are happening beneath the surface.
Book—Order New Happy today to find true happiness.
Podcast — Get a daily morning pep talk — in five minutes or less
Speaking — Book us to speak to your team about well-being, resilience, and productivity.
Articles — Read more articles on our website.
Community
What’s something you want to let go of?
“The past, I’m done being angry with myself.”
“Shame and beating myself up over the little things.”
“My anxiety.”
“Regrets and guilt about the past.”
“Negative self talk.”
“The pressure to be productive and perfect.”
Before You Go
Our role models.
The Definitive Guide to Happiness
A groundbreaking new approach based on a decade’s worth of research and brought to life with beautiful artwork, New Happy shows you the proven path to happiness.
No spam, just joy.
