Instead of comparing yourself to someone, try this

Comparing yourself to someone else creates a situation where there is a winner and a loser: someone is doing ‘better’ and someone is doing ‘worse’. A situation of winners and losers quickly turns into a competition — and into disconnection and unhappiness.

Instead of comparing, try connecting.

First, pay attention to the toll that the disconnection of competition takes. It ends up hurting you and your relationship with this person. Look for how trying to win ends up backfiring on your own happiness and the quality of your relationship. Look for how it leads to judgment of yourself and others. Look for how it influences you to deny all that makes you you, your authentic self.

With that awareness, you can open your heart and move into connection instead. You don’t have the full picture, and you’re probably comparing yourself to just a slice of their life. What are you missing, and how can you connect with them in all of their humanity? What do you have in common with them? They, too, are an imperfect human trying their best to be happy through struggles and challenges. What can they teach you? How can you savor their presence? How are they contributing to your life and to the world? Can you celebrate their successes and joys, knowing that every time something good happens to another person, it only adds more goodness to the world?

You can compare your journey to someone else’s. But it’s much nicer to enjoy their company along the way.


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