Stop judging
Have you ever noticed that you define your self-esteem by comparing yourself to others?
You're successful when you're doing better than others, and you're not successful when they're doing better than you. This is perhaps best encapsulated in the Tibetan saying: "Envy toward the above, competitiveness to the equal, and contempt toward the lower."
Studies have found that frequently comparing yourself is related to more experiences of negative emotions, and specifically, the presence of shame. What's more, you're more likely to engage in comparison on days when you're already in a bad mood, creating an often-vicious cycle.
When we compare ourselves, we're creating a competition where there is a winner and a loser; it's a mindset that disconnects us from ourselves and from others, and leads to unhappiness for all.
Stop looking upward; stop looking around; stop looking downward.
Instead, start connecting. Because when you are connected to others, you see — very clearly — that life is not a race or a competition or a battle or a contest. It's an experience that is unique for each person, and every single day, we all wake up and try our very best to navigate it. When we see things in this way, we can celebrate one another, thinking to ourselves, 'Wow, aren't we all doing such a great job?'
