The secret to being brave
Courage might seem like a distant virtue, a term that is reserved solely for heroic acts. But it’s a virtue that is also found in the way that we live our daily lives — in making brave choices even when they feel frightening.
To try is very courageous. To live a life of trying is to live a courageous life.
To get started, take these four steps.
Step One: Define what would be courageous for you.
This intention is really important. Sometimes, even just admitting what you want to do is courageous!
You also might have noticed, in your past experience, that it’s easier to be braver for other people than it is for yourself. Courage is frequently harnessed to acts of goodness, like making a difference in the world or helping others. If you can connect your personal intention to the greater impact it will have, it can help you move into a state of courage.
Step Two: Break that courage down into steps.
If you were going to act on that intention, would the very first step look like?
Fear often grabs the upper hand in this moment, because we think we have to tackle the whole scary thing at once. But you don’t have to do it all today. You can break it into bits, a far more compassionate approach. Decide what the first step would look like and make it as small as needed.
Step Three: As you contemplate that first step, label your emotions.
One study from UCLA shows how powerful this simple act of labeling can be.
Researchers asked participants with a fear of spiders to approach a large tarantula, getting as close as they could. Afterward, they were divided into groups and given different strategies to try to help them with their fear. The first group was told to label and describe their emotional responses to the spider (“I feel afraid” or “I am so nervous.”) The other groups were either told to downplay their emotions, say something irrelevant, or not say anything at all. When everyone was brought back a week later to do the same task, it was the first group — those who labeled their emotions — who were able to cope with their fear and move forward most effectively.
Step Four: Try.
Take that action. Send the email. Do the thing. Make the call. Show up. Speak up. Whatever it is, just try.
That’s all courage is: trying, even when you’re afraid.
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