The unconscious mistake we’re all making
Every day, you try to solve the problems in your life.
∙ “I want to be more organized.”
∙ “I want to be a better friend.”
∙ “I want to be more successful at work."
And every day, as you do it, there is one mistake you're probably making.
Leidy Klotz and his colleagues at the University of Virginia discovered that we all have a mental shortcut that consistently trips us up. When we're trying to solve a problem, we look for solutions by asking ourselves, “What can I add here?”
∙ To be more organized, we spend hours coming up with a brand new system that will require hours every week to maintain.
∙ To be a better friend, we brainstorm all of the new ways we need to support them.
∙ To be more successful at work, we strategize how we can cram a new project into our schedules.
If our instinct is to constantly add more and more to our calendars, to-do lists, closets, and personal expectations — well, it's no wonder so many of us feel so overwhelmed.
Often, the secret to success is asking ourselves the opposite question: “What can I subtract?”
This simple question can lead to wonderful new solutions, ones that bring you joy instead of stress. For example, it might be way easier to be more organized if you donated some of your things; to be a better friend if you stopped checking your phone when you were together; to be more successful if you delegated some tasks to focus on your most important project.
Here's the good news: you can override this bias by using a little cue. The next time you’re trying to solve a problem, pause and remind yourself:
“I could improve this by subtracting something, too."
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