What to do when your emotions are weighing you down
The feeling of being truly listened to can be life-changing. It does so much for both of the individuals involved, as well as their relationship, and from there ripples out to the rest of their lives in profound ways.
We all want to be listened to and feel heard. While one survey found that 96% of people consider themselves to be good listeners (!) that likely doesn’t reflect your experience. It can feel like something rare and precious.
Because listening really matters. Studies have found that, at work, listening is related to workplace well-being, reduced burnout, better leadership, and even your performance. Listening can strengthen relationships, reduce loneliness, and help to heal past experiences of rejection or disconnection.
Here is the good news: all of us can become better listeners, because listening is a skill that can be developed with practice and effort.
Studies on listening have found that ‘high-quality listening’ is made up of behaviors that convey 1) attention, 2) understanding, and 3) positive intention.
In your next conversation, try asking yourself these three questions:
- How can I give my full attention to this person?
- How can I ensure that I’m understanding what they are saying?
- What would let this person know that I have positive intentions towards them?
If you can answer these questions with specific behaviors, you’ll help your conversation partner to experience that great, life-changing gift: the gift of being understood and supported. There’s no better way to start helping the world than to begin with our world around us, right here in our next conversation
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