When you are feeling down, do these four things
When you’re feeling down or having a hard moment, try this quick four-step practice:
1. Acknowledge your pain.
Take a minute and note what you’re feeling, or what hurts, or what you wish had happened. Studies have found that this acknowledgement can have a meaningful effect on helping you to manage and cope with it. It can be as simple as putting your hand on your heart, saying to yourself, “Hey, this hurts. I’m here for you.”
2. Let go of what happened (even if it’s only for a moment or two, or only a little bit of what you are carrying.)
Letting go is ultimately a practice of acceptance: this happened, and I won’t fight that reality. Imagine yourself putting it down somewhere, just to give yourself a little break from revisiting it again and again. If you don’t know how, try asking yourself, “What would it look like if I let this go temporarily so I can turn my attention to what’s in my control?”
3. Resolve to keep going.
That space you’ve just created opens up the possibility to decide on your next step. Ask yourself, what do I want now in this moment or in the future, reality being what it is? What would be a meaningful outcome in this situation? Then: take one step towards that future. It doesn’t have to be a big step. In fact, it might be best to make it as small as you can: what can you do, in five minutes or less, that would make a difference?
4. Remember it will get better.
You will feel joy again. Keep the awareness that this moment, or series of moments, while it is painful, is not permanent. Things will change. In acknowledging your pain, shifting your focus from what’s happened to what is possible, and taking steps towards it, you are creating the conditions that will allow you to recover, bounce back, and continue to move towards greater happiness and well-being.
