Animation: Be kind to yourself
Here are some practical, science-backed ways to be kind to yourself today, no matter what happens.
First, it’s helpful to learn how many of our existing beliefs might be leading us astray.
It is ineffective to criticize yourself when you’re stressed. Studies have found that being critical and aggressive towards yourself actually makes your stress grow. What helps to calm the stress down is being kind to yourself.
And it is so important to celebrate your wins, your progress, and the things that do go right. Savoring the good — which means just spending 10-15 seconds really allowing yourself to feel whatever positive emotions are occurring — enhances our positive experiences, increases our well-being, and affects our mental health.
Next, we have to put that knowledge into practice, turning it from a fact into muscle memory. Our days present no shortage of opportunities to do that, and the more that we practice in these small moments, the easier it will become.
When something hard happens, pause and acknowledge the pain or any emotions that you are feeling. Let yourself sit with them for a moment. There are a number of things you can do after that. You can speak to yourself as though you’re a friend. You can ask yourself, what do I need in this moment? You can recognize that these difficult experiences are a part of our shared humanity, and that it really doesn’t mean anything about you, but is part of what it means to be a human. You can remind yourself that you are not alone. You can reach out and connect with someone, leaning on them and soaking up their love and care.
When something lovely happens, savor it. Studies have found that most of us have more positive daily events than difficult ones, but because of our brain’s negativity bias, it doesn’t feel this way. Savoring helps us to correct that bias. You can savor the good in a number of ways: share it with someone, write it down in a diary. Express your emotions physically or through other behaviors, pay focused attention to the positive elements, and bask in the physical experience you’re having.
Whatever today holds for you, know that you are worthy of your own kindness.
Get our free daily newsletter
Start your day with a piece of art and a science-backed tip.
It’s the only email that makes you happier.
