How to be kind to yourself and achieve your goals
The belief that growth and gentleness are incompatible runs very deep.
On first glance, gentleness might seem like a synonym for slacking, giving up, or being lazy. Far from it. Gentleness simply means 'freedom from harshness and violence.' Isn't it a worthy aim, to pursue your goals in a way that isn't harsh or violent? Working towards what matters to us in an encouraging, caring, and peaceful way.
It's possible to be gentle with yourself, and at the same time to be actively and purposefully moving towards what matters to you. Gentleness is a way of being that facilitates growth.
What if just for this week, instead, you tried gentleness? You might be surprised to discover that the thing you're trying to achieve is a lot easier when you're tender with it.
Here’s one way. Choose a task or project that you regularly do (like a weekly email or meeting, a specific chore or responsibility, a report or presentation.) Before you jump into it in the same way as always, pause and ask yourself: what would it look like if I brought some gentleness to this?
Whatever answer you get, try it. Once it's done, compare your normal way of being with your gentler way of being: how did it feel to you? Were you more effective, creative, relaxed? How did it affect your state of mind and heart? Did it help you to move forward towards your goal?
If it works for you, try it with another activity, and then another. Slowly, you can expand this sense of gentleness more and more throughout your life's activities.
Get our free daily newsletter
Start your day with a piece of art and a science-backed tip.
It’s the only email that makes you happier.
