You Don’t Need to Optimize Yourself
To live a creative life, you need to allow yourself to be a human being. That means learning how to stop measuring yourself by external metrics or by your productivity.
The word measure comes from the 14th century word mesuren: to deal out, to divide up.
It makes me think of a shared dish of food being ladled out into separate bowls. When you’re measuring, you’re taking something whole and splitting it apart.
In measuring yourself, you’re doing the same thing: you’re dividing yourself into pieces, separating your person from your results. Yes, this can be a useful strategy when peak performance is your most cherished goal. But if you're looking for happiness, I'd advise against it.
It’s all too easy to choose a metric (daily habits, social media followers, bank account balance, resume, compliments from others) and then turn it into your identity.
When we divide ourselves in this way, there’s an inevitable consequence: what you are measuring now must be maximized.
Just like when we were kids, our inclination is to look around at how much food our dining companions got in their bowls. Am I doing enough? How can I get some more? Life has turned, without knowing it, into a competition.
The truth (which we all know!) is that everything that matters most cannot be divided up into pieces.
These things that matter — your authentic self, love, friendship, creativity, generosity, purpose — are always whole. They can’t be divided, so they can’t be measured. And because they can’t be measured, they can’t be competed for. And because they can’t be competed for, they connect us to one another. And because they connect us to one another, they make us happy.
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What To Do When You Are Creatively Stuck
Everyone gets stuck sometimes when they are creating. The solution to overcoming it is paradoxical: step away from what you are trying to do. The latest neuroscience research explains why.
The harder you push to solve a problem, the more stuck you can become.
Being a good problem-solver isn’t only about using logic, strategy, creativity, and empathy. It’s also about learning when you need to step away from the problem, to take a break in order to be able to solve it effectively. You are the problem-solver — that means that you need to care for yourself so that you can do the best job you can!
What’s more, stepping away might just help you figure your problem out. You might have experienced this before: you have gone for a walk or had a shower, and in the middle of it, experienced a eureka! moment. Focusing on something other than the problem can activate your brain’s default mode network, especially when you’re doing things where your mind can wander, like exercising or tidying up. It makes it possible for you to arrive at new insights or identify potential solutions.
The next time you're stuck, remind yourself to step away. Give yourself a break from trying to solve the problem, and the answer might just come to you.
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A groundbreaking new approach based on a decade’s worth of research and brought to life with beautiful artwork, New Happy shows you the proven path to happiness.
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