Weekly: A new spin
Gratitude has gotten a bad reputation.
I see three reasons why:
• No one wants to be told, "Be grateful." We've had it directed at us in a demeaning, invalidating way.
• It's been offered far too frequently as a panacea: "You can fix all of your suffering if you list out three things you're grateful for!"
• It can feel a bit cheesy, confined to the realm of motivational posters and cross-stitches.
But if we leave behind these popular associations, and get to the core of it, gratitude is quite different. Gratitude is radical.
In a mere moment, it can shock ourselves out of our default way of seeing ourselves: as separate, disconnected individuals who exist alone in the world. Gratitude awakens you to the truth that you are a participant, embedded within a web of connections. In realizing the ways that others have contributed to your life, it becomes shockingly and immediately obvious: you are a part of it all, you are a beneficiary of goodwill, you are shaped by countless benevolent acts.
Gratitude is the superhighway to simultaneous connection with yourself and connection with others, bridging into you and out of you. This feeling is what we're looking for in our misplaced longings for purchases, achievements, and other various strivings. But that feeling is accessible right here and now. I think that's magical.
With gratitude,
Stephanie Harrison, founder of The New Happy
This Week
Your attention is one of the most powerful tools that you have for your well-being. It's like a flashlight: it can illuminate things that bring you to a state of greater happiness.
Our attention is so important because our brains have a default negativity bias: they automatically pay more attention for things that are negative, or drift to actively anticipate what may go wrong. We need to train our attention in a different way, which will increase our joy.
Try This
You can easily shift your attention with one powerful question.
Ask yourself: "What's going right, right now?”
Point your flashlight at the good around you. Whatever you notice, try to keep shining the light on it for a moment or two, soaking up any good feelings that it gives you. Let yourself feel the joy for whatever it is, no matter how small or insignificant it might seem.
This is a question you can use multiple times in a day, whenever you remember. With time, it will become more natural and instinctive. You could also anchor it to an existing behavior: as you prepare meals, or leave a meeting, or get up from your desk, ask it of yourself. This simple question has the power to bring the good into focus.
More Tips and Tools
1. Why gratitude can help in the hard times (Podcast)
2. Fully experience today (Instagram, TikTok)
3. Your worth is not what you achieve (Instagram)
4. Layer in what matters (Instagram)
5. One kind thought can change it all (Instagram)
6. The power of letting go (Instagram)
7. What's a good environment for you? (Instagram)
8. Don't let one setback ruin your day (Instagram)
Community
What is something you're feeling grateful for?
"Everyday, I'm grateful for our now 10 month-old daughter after seven years of fertility troubles."
"I am grateful for my mobility!"
"My job, I love being able to say that I'm excited to go to work each day."
"I am grateful for my mom. She is my superhero and a very powerful woman."
"The kids playing nicely on their own, partner sleeping peacefully, warm coffee."
"My comfy pjs I got at a bargain."
"I'm grateful for today, the sun and blue skies, just the little things that make me feel present."
"My warm duvet because I feel safe under it and to feel safe is everything."
"My mom's cancer prognosis for survival is excellent."
"My friends who are okay with sitting in silence with me, it's nice to have people like that."
Read more
Inspiration
1. 'Polar Preet' sets out to be the first woman to cross Antartica solo (Smithsonian) — She already became the first woman of color to reach the South Pole.
2. The questions we don't ask our families, but should (The Atlantic) — What stories are unacknowledged or unexcavated in your family?
3. How the iconic Cornish sailor sweater is made (Aeon) — It's so moving to watch this.
Before You Go
Thank you for reading
Want to get the New Happy newsletter sent directly to your email every week? It’s free, inspiring, and packed with useful tools. Enter your email and join our community now.
