Weekly: How to break your patterns
Old Happy: "I'm stuck — which makes me a mess, a failure, a disaster."
New Happy: “I'm a human being — which means I get stuck in patterns sometimes, and that's perfectly acceptable."
Human beings are patterned creatures: we gravitate towards what is familiar, we repeat it, and that very act of repetition makes it a part of our selves, lives, and relationships. But just because you fall into a pattern doesn't mean that you have to stay in it.
The first step—and often, the hardest—is to notice that you are stuck at all. It's most effective, I've found, to try to a step back from your daily life. You can physically step back (get distance, go on a holiday, disrupt your routine.) You can mentally step back (engage in reflection exercises, consider your values, imagine your future self.) Or you can lean on others to help you to see your life from a different angle (asking for feedback, considering what your role models would do.)
With that new awareness, you can take the second step, which is, more often than not, making just one small different choice. Today, could you...
Ask for what you need?
Choose to stop avoiding something?
Let go of who you think you need to be?
Treat yourself with love?
Inquire into the other person's pain?
Engage in an open conversation?
Ask someone for help?
It might not be comfortable at first; again, that's perfectly normal. But you're strong. Stronger than you know. You've just proven that to yourself by making this choice, to leave what is known and comfortable, but no longer serving you, and venture towards what is healthy, joyful and fulfilling. We free ourselves, and each other, with these small actions.
Tips and Tools
1. Feels like this — This week's animation.
2. Make it joyful — Consistency is not the most important.
3. What to do — When you're stuck.
4. What if it works out? — A reason to hope.
5. When you're ruminating — Three strategies.
More from TNH
Book — Order New Happy today to find true happiness.
Podcast — Get a daily morning pep talk — in five minutes or less
Speaking — Book us to speak to your team about well-being, resilience, and productivity.
Articles — Read more articles on our website.
Community
What is a pattern in your life you'd like to change?
"Using my phone before bedtime! It doesn't make me feel as good as reading a book but the dopamine hits are real."
"I’d like to show up for others more."
"Going to bed late. I want to create a more sustainable and healthier sleep ritual."
"Comparing myself to others."
"Negative self talk and doubt. I am realizing that I am enough, no matter my accomplishments or fears."
"Putting myself down."
Before You Go
The Definitive Guide to Happiness
A groundbreaking new approach based on a decade’s worth of research and brought to life with beautiful artwork, New Happy shows you the proven path to happiness.
No spam, just joy.
