Weekly: Context matters
What gets in the way of compassion?
Ourselves: We don’t allow ourselves to open up to it. We don’t know how to open up to it. The idea of doing so is scary or overwhelming. We worry about what others will think.
Others: We, perhaps, very deep down, believe that some people might not deserve compassion. We find some relationships especially difficult to open up and love.
External factors: Stressful lives, lack of sleep, living through unprecedented times.
What can we do to overcome these?
We can practice compassion in small and safe ways, learning to build to bigger and bigger expressions.
We can extend it to people who we struggle with, as you’ll learn how to do later on in this newsletter.
We can care for ourselves and advocate for change in our our communities, setting ourselves up for a better world where we are free to be our most compassionate selves.
Have a great weekend,
Stephanie Harrison, founder of The New Happy
This Week
Someone cuts you off while driving, and you think, “What a jerk.”
But if you cut someone off, you think, “I’m in such a rush! I normally wouldn’t do something like that.”
This is what’s known as the fundamental attribution error — one of our many cognitive biases. We attribute our behavior to a situation and someone else’s behavior to their character. Obviously, this is quite harmful for our relationships and our ability to be compassionate towards others. We are quick to judge other people as bad, even though they’re just human: doing their best to get through it.
Luckily, a simple perspective-taking exercise can make a difference. The next time you catch yourself assuming that someone else is a rude person, ask yourself: “What circumstances might have influenced that choice?”
More Tips and Tools
1. Define your dream — This week's animation will help you achieve your goals.
2. All of the questions — Curiosity wins.
3. Appearances can deceive — Go deeper.
4. When you’re overthinking — Get your thoughts onto paper.
5. How to have a breakthrough — You might need to rest.
Or listen to the podcast episodes (Apple, Spotify) from this week!
Community
What is something kind someone has done for you lately?
"Sent me a note with kudos on a job well done after a really big and complicated project."
"A woman at the gym stopped her set just to help me adjust a bench. Made my week!"
"My best friend made me dinner."
"My mother in law came over to play with the baby so I could take a nice, long, uninterrupted nap."
"A friend randomly called me during the day just to check on me. It made me smile."
Inspiration
1. A poetry prompt (Upworthy) — Joseph Fasano is a poet who wrote a prompt for kids to express themselves. It’s since gone viral and the poems coming back are just wonderful. Here’s another one and another one.
2. Free downloadable coloring books! (Open Culture) — If you’re looking for a restful activity, give this a try.
3. Polly wants a video chat (NYT) — Scientists let parrots call their parrot friends.
Before You Go
No spam, just joy.
