Weekly: How it feels
Old Happy: I must conform and do what's expected of me.
New Happy: I need to check in with myself and see how it feels to me.
Here’s a question I want you to get comfortable asking yourself: “How does this make me feel?”
Many of us have grown up relying on external forces to make our decisions. It’s all too easy to default to our Old Happy patterns—fulfilling roles established in childhood, trying to please someone, or falling prey to the pressure to constantly achieve more.
The next time you catch yourself making a decision in this way, take it as an opportunity to try a new approach: the feelings check-in.
First, refuse to make the decision quickly—that’s one of the sneakiest ways our patterns ensure they remain ingrained. If someone is waiting for your answer, try saying, “I’ll get back to you on that shortly.” Most decisions, contrary to how they might feel in the moment, are not urgent. You can even say something similar to yourself, like, “It’s okay to take my time and figure out how I want to approach this.”
Then, pause and turn inward: how does this [opportunity, person, goal, place, situation, experience, relationship, job, role...] make me feel? For a few moments, focus on your breath. See if you notice any sensations in your body or around you: a sense of heaviness or lightness, energy or fatigue, cramping or release. What are they trying to tell you?
If you don’t get an immediate response, you can “try on” the decision. Just like shopping for a new outfit, take it to the dressing room and see how it feels—mentally make the decision, and then observe how your body responds.
Your feelings can point you toward the path that’s truly right for you—the one that supports your well-being and the well-being of those around you. But you have to give them the chance to make themselves known; and all it takes is a simple check-in.
Tips and Tools
1. Worthy always — This week's animation.
2. Don't judge it — Your journey is surprisingly similar to theirs.
3. Day by day — Get through the hard part.
4. How to stop avoiding your problems — Try this new coping style.
5. What matters most — You don't have to "do it all."
More from TNH
Book — Order New Happy today to find true happiness.
Podcast — Get a daily morning pep talk — in five minutes or less
Speaking — Book us to speak to your team about well-being, resilience, and productivity.
Articles — Read more articles on our website.
Community
What's a choice you made that you're proud of?
"Going back to college for my Masters degree!"
"Finally putting myself first and seeking help from professionals."
"Working out."
"Leaving a job before the 'one year rule' I just KNEW it wasn’t for me."
"Investing in my passion for yoga by doing yoga teacher training!"
Before You Go
The Definitive Guide to Happiness
A groundbreaking new approach based on a decade’s worth of research and brought to life with beautiful artwork, New Happy shows you the proven path to happiness.
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