Weekly: It’s not about you
I'm so excited to share with you all that The New Happy was nominated for a Webby Award, for best Health & Wellness social media account! 🥳
I also need to ask for a quick favor: would you take 30 seconds to vote for us to win the award?
This award nomination is thanks to all of you and belongs to all of us. There is no New Happy without you, and the ways in which you show up every day seeking to act with greater compassion for yourself and others.
It's a really exciting moment for our broader movement to redefine happiness, too. People are seeing that there is a better way to think about 'health and wellness,' one that's grounded in kindness, service, and love.
I'm thrilled and grateful for this chance to further share our message with the world. Thank you for all that you do every day to make our world a happier place. It matters.
Thank you for your support,
Stephanie Harrison, founder of The New Happy
This Week
When someone is quiet in a conversation, what's your immediate assumption? They aren't having fun hanging out with me.
When someone cancels plans, what's your immediate assumption? They must be trying to avoid me.
When someone is grumpy in a meeting, what's your immediate assumption? They think I'm bad at my job.
We jump to these conclusions based upon someone's behavior, and in the process, take their actions personally. When that happens, we miss the far-more-likely cause of the behavior: them, their needs, their challenges.
They're quiet because they process information differently than you do. They're canceling plans because they're recovering from an illness. They're grumpy because they are stressed about a sick loved one.
Taking it personally is really about making someone else's behavior about us, when most of the time, it's about them. While it's positioned as a selfless thing to assume that someone's actions are about you, it ends up being pretty self-centered. Look at those examples above: what's the common denominator? Me, me, me.
The next time that you catch yourself taking it personally, take a step back and ask yourself, "What is going on for them right now? What am I missing?"
More Tips and Tools
1. Keep going — This week's animation: perseverance looks different every day.
2. If you feel lost — Maybe you're actually still exploring.
3. Make someone glow — The greatest gift.
4. Other people's opinions — Not everyone will like what you do, and that's okay.
5. The funny thing about feelings — They don't unfold the way we expect them to.
Or listen to the podcast episodes (Apple, Spotify) from this week!
Community
How do you practice being empathetic?
"I always pay attention to what people is saying to me and identify their feelings. Perhaps is not the way I would react to it but l understand that their’s is a possible reaction too and completely valid. Then I follow the conversation from their point of view."
"I remind myself that they're a person, just like me."
"Looking for what might be upsetting them in their lives first. I try to keep that in mind so I can better imagine what it would be like to be in their shoes."
"When I catch myself making a judgment, I inboke the mantra, “suspend judgment”, followed by an internal exploration of what a generous interpretation might be … that puts me in a headspace of being curious, open, and soft-hearted."
"I ask myself, what might I need if I were in that person’s situation? Knowing what I know about them, what might they need?"
Inspiration
1. 81 year old best friends travel around the world in 80 days (USA Today) — "My advice is, get up out of that easy chair, step out of your comfort zone, make some plans and live."
2. Plants can cry (NYT) — The way this article made me feel things!
3. Why I'm excited about aging (CupofJo) — This is a beautiful and necessary perspective on something we all are experiencing.
Before You Go
No spam, just joy.
