Weekly: You’re onto something
Old Happy: "I can't mess up, and I'll be cruel to myself if I do." New Happy: "I will mess up, and I'll be kind to myself when I do."
Studies show that perfectionism has significantly increased over the last two decades — and along with that, there has been a corresponding rise in mental illness.
A key element of perfectionism is the fear of failure (and of believing that any mistakes, no matter how small or insignificant, are emblematic of it.) Within this worldview, mistakes are seen as proof that you are imperfect, will never be good enough, and are unworthy of love.
But if we take a step back, we can see that our past mistakes have not been all bad. Sometimes, they are blessings-in-disguise or powerful moments of transformation. They've helped us grow, redirected us onto better paths, or made us more compassionate people. They were how we bonded with others, who shared their mistakes with us in return.
Let's take a cue from the jazz great Ornette Coleman, who said, "It was when I found out I could make mistakes that I knew I was on to something."
The next time you make a mistake, instead of saying, "I'm such an idiot, say, "I'm on to something." That something? Empathy, learning, impact, creativity, fulfillment, your own personal evolution and a deeper connection to your true self. In short, all the things you want. Isn't that something?
Tips and Tools
1. The fear before & after — This week's animation.
2. Your direction — Make sure you're going where you want.
3. No need to rush — Healing takes time.
4. When your guard is up — Can you lower it?
5. Your true self — Remember who you are.
More from TNH
Book — Order New Happy today to find true happiness.
Podcast — Get a daily morning pep talk — in five minutes or less
Speaking — Book us to speak to your team about well-being, resilience, and productivity.
Articles — Read more articles on our website.
Community
What’s something you have learned about yourself lately?
"I can count on myself. I am safe to rely on."
"I'm actually a really great person. I was just around the wrong people."
"I am uncomfortable with failure (or perceived failure.)"
"I am stronger than I thought I was."
"I was protecting myself from things I didn't need protection from."
"I can adapt to change, even though it's hard."
Before You Go
The Definitive Guide to Happiness
A groundbreaking new approach based on a decade’s worth of research and brought to life with beautiful artwork, New Happy shows you the proven path to happiness.
No spam, just joy.
