Weekly: Seeing what matters
Studies have found that good listening has three key behaviors: offering attention, seeking understanding, and conveying positive intention.
Here are a few easy ways you can be a more present listener.
Give the other person your attention:
Before you start the conversation, establish your capacity (“I have twenty minutes to talk right now, and then I will have to get back to work,” or “I need a bit of time to wind-down, and then we can spend time together!”)
In the conversation, minimize distractions (put your phone down, turn off the television, choose an appropriate time for in-depth conversations.)
Be curious:
Summarize what they say (“It sounds like you’re saying…” and “What I’m hearing is…”)
Ask for clarification (“Am I getting this right?”)
Invite them to go deeper (“Could you share more about that experience?” or “What were you feeling in that moment?”)
Express care:
Extend compassion (“That must have been so painful,” or “What do you need right now?”)
Point out their strengths (“Your courage in that moment was awe-inspiring,” or “You always make me laugh.”)
Share your gratitude (“This was such a great conversation," or “I’m so thankful that you opened up to me.”)
Tips and Tools
1. What people see — This week's animation.
2. Start today — The secret to motivation.
3. How to respond — Shift out of a reaction.
4. How you meet it — Compassion wins.
5. Change is coming — Try patience.
Book—Order New Happy today to find true happiness.
Podcast — Get a daily morning pep talk — in five minutes or less
Speaking — Book us to speak to your team about well-being, resilience, and productivity.
Articles — Read more articles on our website.
Community
What's an act of kindness you still remember?
"A ride from a stranger to the airport when the shuttle didn’t show up."
"A co-worker brought a bouquet of flowers and a card to me after a hard weekend at work."
"I was crying on a bus and an old lady passed me a tissue with the kindest look on her face."
"Being patient with me as I learn new things."
"My family is kind enough to let me sleep in, especially when I had a long day."
"Being appreciated and validated by friends and loved ones."
"Initiative to spend time together."
Before You Go
There they go!
The Definitive Guide to Happiness
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