Weekly: Yes, you can
The other day, I was sitting working at my computer when I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, a huge daddy long-legs spider crawling up on the window next to me.
He was desperately trying to escape my office and get back outside. I grabbed a big container to try and carry him out, but he kept running away from me, even though I was trying to help him to achieve his goal.
Eventually, after a bit of trickery, I got him in there and then safely into the backyard.
The whole while, I was thinking about how often we, too, stand in our own way. I see it in myself constantly: my struggle to do the thing I want to do or to honor the value I hold dear is, more often than not, because of something happening within me. And almost always, that something happening within me is fear.
If you, like me and the daddy long-legs, find yourself getting in your own way sometimes, I hope this week's newsletter helps you.
Have a great weekend,
Stephanie Harrison, founder of The New Happy
This Week
There's a lot of advice about there that tells you to listen to yourself.
It's also equally as important to learn another skill: how to argue with yourself.
Many of us take our critical inner voice for granted, believing that it knows the truth about our capabilities, character, and potential. So we listen to it. When that voice says, "You can't do this," you heed it, as though it is a wise mentor who knows all, and stop pursuing that thing immediately. You don't question whether or not it might be operating with outdated beliefs, stories, or data, or even if it has your best interests at heart.
The next time you hear that voice in your head, telling you that you can't do something, argue with it. Ask, politely, for evidence that backs their statements up. Say things like:
"Why can't I do this?"
"What makes you say that?"
"How do you know that's true?"
"What about the time when I did something similar?"
The more that you challenge these thoughts, the clearer it will become: that voice doesn't have a clue what it is talking about. You are capable of so much; you have the character to take on any challenge; your potential is ever-expanding and just waiting to be unleashed.
More Tips and Tools
1. Worthy no matter what you do — You're enough.
2. Don't call it a comfort zone — Take the next step instead.
3. When things are hard — Break it into bits.
4. Talk with, not at — Improve your relationship with this tip.
5. How to be present — Savor your life.
Or listen to the podcast episodes (Apple, Spotify) from this week!
Community
What is something you want to do, but feel that you can't?
"I’ve always wanted to be a professional writer. I have several novels and songs of my own but just share them with my friends."
"Go karaoke-ing."
"I really want to start a podcast but I feel like no one would listen to it and I’m scared/shy about posting about it on social media since I know that there are a lot of hateful people out there in the internet world."
"I would like to recover from my eating disorder which is with me since I was 8 years old. I’m 29 now."
"Take more consistent actions towards executing my projects. I feel like I get these sudden "oh okay, let's get moving" exciting moment where I "finally" make a move, but never continue on a consistent way to see them flourish naturally, but instead I get back to doing other stuff until I have one of those moments again. So the progress is in fits and starts."
Inspiration
1. This 90 year old man was awarded judo's highest grade (BBC) — Never stop growing.
2. Why some people become lifelong readers (Atlantic) — Some interesting research here for those who want to cultivate a love of reading (or pass it on to their kids!)
3. Five ways to take control of your dreams (Psyche) — Have you ever had a lucid dream?
Before You Go
No spam, just joy.
