A resolution for the new year
If you’re still thinking about what changes you’d like to make in 2026, I have a suggestion for you that I promise will transform your mental health, happiness, and life: meet your pain with kindness.
By way of analogy, imagine you're at a party, looking to make new friends. What do you think is going to be more successful: going up to people and openly judging them, or going up to them and being kind to them?
We all know that it's the latter. It's an ironclad rule: being kind to others is always the best way to build a relationship.
Yet, for some reason, we expect that rule to be invalid for the relationship we have with ourselves. We believe that we can criticize and hurt ourselves into the self that we want to be. All this does, though, is harm our relationship with that self — because while you can walk away from a judgmental stranger at a party, you can't walk away from the judgmental self that you have to live with.
This year, I hope that you practice meeting your emotions with compassion. Here's what that looks like:
Acknowledge it: Remind yourself that it's completely normal to feel this way. It is an inevitable part of the human experience; there's nothing wrong with you for feeling this way.
Accept it: Don't fight the feeling or push it away. Sit with it instead. Say to yourself: "I'm experiencing this emotion, and I'm accepting that reality."
Address it: Take one small step to help you to recover from the emotion (going for a walk, calling a friend) or to avoid it in the future (making a plan, asking for help.)
You can be a friend to yourself, even when you're struggling. And that friendship will make your pain a far lighter burden to carry.
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