Stop worrying about being consistent
If you browse any corner of the motivational internet, you'll probably see one message repeated over and over again: You need to be consistent to achieve your goals.
This is not, actually, the key to achieving your goals.
If you want to achieve your goals, make them joyful. Make them fun. Make them interesting. Make them fascinating. Make them engaging. Make them meaningful.
If you do this, you will never have to worry about 'being consistent' ever again.
To understand why this is the case, let's dig into the research. You've probably heard of extrinsic and intrinsic motivation. These terms comes from a 40-year-old body of research, led by Edward Deci & Richard Ryan.
Their research discovered that there's a continuum of motivation. At one end is extrinsic motivation ("I'm doing this because I'll be rewarded/punished.") At the other is intrinsic motivation ("I'm doing this because it's joyful and interesting.")
(If you want to go deeper, here's a helpful example of the continuum, for someone who is donating blood.)
Intrinsic goals are more aligned with your authentic self and fulfill your human needs.
If you pursue intrinsic goals, you'll 1) experience greater happiness and well-being, and 2) be more likely to achieve them!
People who choose goals aligned with their interests, values, and identities are more persistent and therefore, more likely to be successful.
On the other hand, people who are extrinsically motivated are more likely to abandon their goals and experience ill-being.
Here's your key takeaway: Don't worry about consistency. Consistency is a downstream metric that indicates how aligned the goal is to your authentic self, which in turn drives your happiness and success.
Your current behavior — consistent or not — is a piece of data that you can use. It's not a target to aim at; when it is a target, it can very quickly become a source of pressure and self-shame, which ironically leads to de-motivation.
If you find it easy to be consistent, you're probably more intrinsically motivated. You find it joyful, it puts you into a state of flow, or you see it as way to express yourself or contribute to a greater purpose.
If you're struggling to be consistent, you're probably more extrinsically motivated. That is a sign that your goal is not aligned to your authentic self and is not fulfilling your needs.
Here's one thing you can do to shift it. Ask yourself, how can I make pursuing this goal a more joyful experience?
Or, go further: what would it look like to throw this goal out and choose a new, joyful one instead?
