Be you
Did you know that there are three types of perfectionism?
Self-oriented: wanting to meet your high standards
Other-oriented: wanting other people to be perfect
Socially-prescribed: feeling that others need or want you to be perfect.
It's this third type that we're exploring today. It sounds like...
"My parents expects me to get perfect grades; I must do it."
"My work depends on this presentation; it must be perfect."
"My kids need me to get my parenting right; I can't mess up."
Old Happy culture is one of the key drivers of socially-prescribed perfectionism — and studies show it's been increasing, with a 32% increase between 1989 and 2017. The constant messages we receive from our families, schools, institutions, and social media repeat it over and over again: in order to be happy, you must be perfect.
There's a lot that hurts about socially-prescribed perfectionism, but one especially painful outcome is that it can lead to isolation. People distance themselves from loved ones, believing that their imperfections make them unworthy of love or fearful of making mistakes.
If you struggle with this perfectionism, please remember this: the right people and environments will support you, just as you are — imperfect yet wonderful, exactly as you are! They want you to be you. That's what you deserve.
