Feeling helpless
Here's something that might surprise you.
When you're going through a challenge, our default reaction is to believe there's nothing we can do about it. Helplessness is a natural response.
Unfortunately, we live in a world that 1) shames us for this very natural behavior, and 2) doesn't teach anyone how to overcome it. That ends today.
Deep in your brain there's a structure, made up of about 20,000 cells, that is called the dorsal raphe nucleus. It controls this sense of helplessness.
When something difficult or traumatic happens, the dorsal raphe nucleus activates and kicks off a series of responses that make you feel helpless, hopeless, and like there's nothing you can do about it. You just freeze up and do nothing, waiting for the suffering to end.
Your brain is trying to help. It's trying to help you protect yourself and save your energy for a better moment. But in our world of extreme chronic stress, it's easy to feel this sense of helplessness constantly. That gets in the way of pursuing the things that matter to us — whether it's trying new things, rebuilding after challenges, or making the world better.
The trick is to activate a different part of your brain: the ventromedial prefrontal cortex. The ventromedial prefrontal cortex actually has the power to turn off this helplessness reaction. It does this when you remember that you have solved similar problems in the past, when you focus on what is within your control, and then you take action.
Helplessness is natural; hopefulness is learned. And it's learned by taking action.
What does this mean for you? If you are going through a challenge, the most important thing you can do is to take one small action towards addressing it. It might not, in the moment, seem like much. But bit by bit, you are forging the neural pathways that help you to be more resilient, courageous, and hopeful.
Use this prompt: "What is something that I can do right now that would make a difference — no matter how small it seems?"
Hope is just one action away.
