Weekly: Great expectations
We all know what it feels like to not have enough, do enough, or be enough.
But what does it feel like to truly have enough, do enough, and be enough?
And, more practically: how do we do this while immersed in Old Happy culture, which constantly shouts at us that we're not enough?
After reviewing so much research on this topic for my upcoming book, I have come to believe that we have to define what 'enough' is for ourselves. Then, we need to stay steadfast in our commitment to it, even amidst the ongoing waves of these external pressures.
With time, it turns from a definition into our heads to something we've internalized in our being, a sense of 'enoughness' that can be present all of the time.
I wish that for all of us!
Have a beautiful weekend,
Stephanie Harrison, founder of The New Happy
This Week
Are your expectations hurting you?
There's a big difference between wanting to do well and try your best, and setting expectations that are so high that they're essentially unachievable.
Unrealistic expectations could include:
Expecting you'll never make mistakes
Expecting you'll be able to figure it out on the first, second or third attempt
Expecting that everyone will love what you do
Expecting that you'll never feel unsure, confused, or scared
Expecting that you'll be able to get it perfect
Here's a quick test you can use. Think about something in your life that's creating pain for you — a project, a role, or a situation.
Now, ask yourself: "Honestly, what am I expecting from myself in this situation?"
You might be surprised to discover that your struggles are not stemming from the situation, but from your unrealistic expectations about what you need to do to be successful.
More Tips and Tools
1. Mistakes are part of growth — They get you where you want to go.
2. How to be present in a conversation — A few do's and don'ts.
3. Be you — Let go of your perfectionism.
4. What if? — If you're worried, try this.
5. How are you, really? — A better question to ask.
Or listen to the podcast episodes (Apple, Spotify) from this week!
Community
What is a challenge you've struggled with lately?
"Trusting my previous work experience will get me a better paying job."
"Dealing with jealousy."
"Overworking myself and then breaking down about it."
"Trying to be more careful about what I say to my friends and family."
"Trying to love myself when I feel like I'm unloveable."
"Accepting the timing of various things in life."
"To focus. I'm feeling overwhelmed."
Inspiration
1. The Good News (Swiss Miss) — Take one minute to read this short poem by Thich Nhat Hanh. I promise it will shift your perspective.
2. How J.R.R. came up with the Lord of The Rings (Kottke) — Reminder: every single person's work is messy at the beginning.
3. The wind phone (Upworthy) — A man in Japan lost his cousin and built an unwired phone booth to call him and connect with him. Here's what happened next.
Before You Go
No spam, just joy.
