Weekly: The words you believe
Old Happy: "They are lying to please me."
New Happy: “They are telling the truth to help me."
You believe the negative words they speak. So why don't you believe the positive ones? When you think about it, it's completely irrational behavior: you either trust them or you don't, and if you do trust them, then why would you question their kindnesses?
Deep down, you might not believe that you actually deserve their kind words. If that's the case, here's a perspective shift I'd like you to consider trying on: sometimes, other people can see you more clearly than you can see yourself.
Prove this to yourself by thinking about one of your own friends or loved ones who does not see their own strengths. They fret about their appearance—but all you see is their beauty. They dismiss their contributions—but all you see is their impact. You try so hard to get through to them ("You're wonderful, you're gorgeous, you're doing so well!") and yet they never seem to really hear you.
Could the same be true for you? Perhaps those people offering you compliments are trying to help you see yourself. Perhaps you just need to trust them. Perhaps you need to let their words in so that you can start to feel, deep down, that you are deserving of their kindness. Because that is the truth—you are.
Tips and Tools
1. Facing it — This week's animation.
2. How to stop ruminating — Manage your thoughts.
3. Be patient with yourself — Change takes time.
4. Don't let the world change you — Avoiding cynicism.
5. We don't see everything — How assumptions hurt us all.
More from TNH
Book — Order New Happy today to find true happiness.
Podcast — Get a daily morning pep talk — in five minutes or less
Speaking — Book us to speak to your team about well-being, resilience, and productivity.
Articles — Read more articles on our website.
Community
What’s your favorite compliment you’ve received?
“Someone knowing when I’m nearby before seeing me because they can hear me laughing."
“That I look pretty the way I am, and that my presence gives them immense joy.”
“That I’m good at making people feel heard and that I have an immaculate sense of style”
“That I’m someone’s lucky charm.”
“Thank you for being you.”
“You make me feel safe.”
Before You Go
The Definitive Guide to Happiness
A groundbreaking new approach based on a decade’s worth of research and brought to life with beautiful artwork, New Happy shows you the proven path to happiness.
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