Weekly: Change is coming
As humans, one of our greatest thinking errors is the belief that how it is right now is how it is going to be forever.
In my opinion, a big reason for this thinking error is that change doesn’t happen the way we expect it to. We picture change as an epic before-and-after moment: the phone call with great news, the person who stumbles into your life, embarking on an adventure.
Real change is more subtle than that. It often seems like nothing is happening, until suddenly you look around, and your whole world has changed without you noticing it. You realize: “Wow, I’m happy now,” or “Look how far I’ve come,” or “Isn’t it remarkable that I responded in that new way?”
Remember that change is coming, even if you can’t see it yet. Have faith in the world’s ever-changing nature, and remember that even the hardest moments do not last forever. Have faith in yourself: you’re working hard, doing your best, and contributing to the world. Good things are coming for you. I can feel it!
With gratitude,
Stephanie Harrison, founder of The New Happy
This Week
(I'm really excited about this one; it's so fun. Make sure you check it out!)
As we explored a few weeks ago, one of the most important ways to change your behavior is to change your environment. I want to elaborate on why this is such a kinder way to treat yourself.
So many of us have been taught that being harsh towards ourselves is the best way to motivate ourselves. Yet the evidence shows that this is not true and even backfires (for more on this, read my HBR article linked below.)
It's okay to make life easier for yourself. In fact, I really want you to do this, because it will benefit you and those around you!
Here's an example. Imagine you're trying to wake up earlier in the morning, but you keep pressing snooze on your alarm and falling back asleep. When you finally get up, you're mad, frustrated, and beat yourself up all morning.
What would be a kinder way to support yourself in pursuing this goal?
One solution would be to move your alarm all the way across the room. Now, you have to get out of bed to turn it off. Way more effective! Kindness is not just being gentle with yourself, but it's also making your desired actions easier to achieve.
This weekend, I hope you'll look at your environment and ask yourself, "What changes would make it easier for me to be who I want to be?"
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More Tips and Tools
1. What to do about our society's loneliness problem — You have the power to make a huge difference.
2. When you feel unmotivated – These three sentences can help.
3. Stop doing this one thing — Stop evaluating your worthiness.
4. Why forcing yourself to feel positive doesn't work — There's a big difference between forcing it and creating space for it.
5. What is self-compassion? (HBR) — I have written a new article for HBR that will help you to be compassionate to yourself at work.
Or listen to the podcast episodes (Apple, Spotify) from this week!
Community
What would you do if you believed more in yourself?
"Start a small business."
"Work in fashion."
"Write music and sing in front of an audience."
"Live alone."
"Travel solo across the globe."
"Write good articles."
"Leave my jobs for my dreams."
"Try myd ream of figure skating."
"Quit my job and find a better one with work life balance."
"Lead retreats and gatherings."
Inspiration
1. Ronald grew up in a New York library (Aeon) — Ronald's story is worth your time.
2. Start new traditions (NPR) — How to craft your own holiday rituals as an adult.
3. Tribute to Frances Hesselbein (WSJ) — One of my New Happy heroes, she was once called 'the greatest leader of all time.' Her life story and impact is really inspiring.
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